The Other Side of Domestic Violence

So the latest controversy coming out of the NFL is that Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice has been suspended for two games as a result of a domestic violence incident that took place months ago where a camera caught him punching his then fiancee in an elevator and then another camera caught him dragging the same woman by the hair as they got off the elevator. It has raised the ire of many as they feel that the NFL isn't sending a strong enough message against domestic violence behavior of its players. On this note, I wholeheartedly agree.

But each and every time I seem to hear about domestic violence, what bugs me is that I typically hear of a one-sided, one gender focused cause that negates what is happening with the other side and gender. The Obama Administration came out with a public service announcement a couple of years ago that spoke against violence against women and included professional male athletes.

 

While taking up a cause for violence against women is a great endeavor, the fact of the matter is that male victims have been far too overlooked in this regard. If you consider the statistics, you would actually find a very comparable amount of men suffer domestic violence at the hands of women to the women who suffer domestic violence at the hands of men. I won't post the stats here as a Google search of "domestic violence against men" would yield more than enough results to show that many men also are victims as well. 

My question is why leave the men out when so many are going through this? Is it because it is more acceptable in our society for women to be both emotionally and physically abusive to men and supposedly, men are just supposed to take it? A very chilling segment done by ABC News years ago shows that this ideal may play a part in the way some people think about domestic abuse.

So what is the solution to this? Domestic violence shouldn't be acceptable towards any gender. We should have enough respect for each other that we don't have to resort to such abuse. As a rule for humanity, no person, whether male or female, should ever have to endure the horror of domestic violence. And we need to stop talking about it as if it only affects women when the truth is very different.

Another perspective that doesn't get much play is that sometimes domestic violence can be in response to abuse. For instance, a man could be committing domestic violence against the same woman who repeatedly committed violence against him. Or vice versa. In no way is domestic violence in response to domestic violence excusable but I do believe some consideration needs to be given in these situations. For some men and women who constantly throw abuse towards their partner, they may well be on the receiving end of abuse themselves. I don't condone any of it, but it is simply more of a cause and effect. More should be encouraged in the area of people respecting others in general, and perhaps, some of these ugly situations can be avoided. For example, if a woman is always verbally and physically abuse to her husband and one day the husband decides to physically abuse her, she is not innocent. Indeed it isn't right that she was physically abused by her husband but we also must recognize the abuse from her end as well. There can't be a double standard in this, otherwise we are encouraging abusive people to continue to be abusive to the ruin of themselves and their victims.

Domestic violence against men is nothing to laugh at. There are true gentlemen out there that don't want to respond with violence towards their wives or girlfriends and feel stuck. These men need more understanding and encouragement rather than belittlement and mockery. Abuse doesn't make anyone feel good, regardless of your gender. We should be more compassionate regarding this painful reality for many people.

So the next time that you hear of a domestic violence situation and automatically assume it is just women who go through it, think again. It is a human problem.

We'll do this again,

LandoRigs