Take Responsibility for Your Choices

Just last week, I was reading an article on a young black boy who was being tried as an adult and sentenced to 23 years in prison for killing a service dog. It was amazing how many people were stuck on the sentence instead of seeing the the real issue. The boy had been on the wrong side of the law on several occasions and this seemed to be merely the straw that broke the camel's back. The boy was quoted in the article as saying that he wasn't really a violent person and the drugs and alcohol he consumed were the factors in his criminal behavior.

I have an issue with people who make excuses for their behavior instead of owning up to what they do. I've been there before myself and as people, we do this on both a small and large scale. But there is a great danger in putting the blame on others instead of taking responsibility for our choices. There will be times when our circumstances are beyond our control, but more often that not, our choices are what shape our lives. The lack of personal responsibility allows us to make even poorer decisions down the road and leads us to avoiding the real changes that we sometimes need to make in our lives. If we can always explain away everything, then we justify ourselves and when we justify ourselves then we will never see a problem with ourselves. It's a road that tends to lead to lots of heartbreak and suffering that actually could have been prevented. The black boy I mentioned in the first paragraph could have avoided being in a courtroom at all if he made better choices.

To take full responsibility for the wrongs we do takes a significant amount of humility. Pride tends to get in the way of this. I can not tell you how many lives would be different today if more of us would look at ourselves as being possible contributors to our problems rather than the blame always resting with other people. Sure, others can play a significant factor in our situations, but many times we have the ability to make decisions to alter our course for the better. There are devastating consequences when we make poor ones.

Here's the good news about taking responsibility for our actions. We can change. Where we are missing the mark, we can correct it. And as a result, we can become better people. We can never change what we've done in the past but we can pay careful attention to what we do now and in the future. The solution is within our grasp if we are willing to take it. I am convinced after 35 years on this earth that I do not have the power to change people. I can plead with people about the right way to go but if they don't understand it, I'm pleading on deaf ears. Only God can change people and even then, he waits for a person to have a CHANGE of heart (repentance) before He transforms him or her. The key to a better life rests in our hands. It is us that must make the right choices.

Have you ever tried helping somebody who really doesn't want to change? At some time, you will realize that your efforts are getting you nowhere and will find yourself being frustrated. The problem is that the person who needs the help has to actually believe he or she needs the help before anyone can move forward. Otherwise you will keep coming to the same frustrating place with that person, hitting the same wall. If the person doesn't see in themselves the need to change, then they will not change, period. If the person blames all of his or her issues on somebody else or on a set of circumstances, then that person really doesn't take any responsibility as to what happens in his or her life. Therefore, no change and the more you push, the further you push that person away from you.

If there is something that you've been refusing to change, even though you have had multiple people tell you otherwise for your own good, then perhaps it is time to stop fighting it and start changing it. You will be surprised at how your life changes for the better. But remember that it starts with you, nobody else can change for you. If your last marriage failed and you realize there were things you did that contributed to that, change it so that you don't bring it into your next relationship. If you have a tendency to have an attitude and a loud mouth, change that and become a more pleasant person. If you have a tendency to lie and not tell the truth, change that and become a more trustworthy person. If you find yourself constantly pregnant with babies that fathers won't help take care of, stop seeking going out with men that use you for sex and then move on. As Captain Planet used to say, "The power is yours."

Take responsibility for your mistakes and start fresh. Always ask if there are things that you can do better in because that assessment and action taken might bring you to the next level. Don't keep being stuck in the same rut, making the same decisions and getting the same disastrous results when you could be in a better place. When you make mistakes, learn from them so that you don't keep repeating them.

It all starts with you and only you. Keep that in mind and make good choices.

Happy Monday,

LandoRigs