'What If?' Series #3 - George Foreman wins 'The Rumble in the Jungle'

I was not yet born when the classic battle between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman took place in Zaire in 1974. But I happened to first catch the match on ESPN Classic many years ago. It was a bout that always intrigued me because many thought that Foreman had a chance to defeat "The Greatest." What I saw was a fight where Foreman tired himself out and eventually Ali was able to knock him out in the eighth round. But what if Foreman had executed a more solid strategy and overcame Ali?

While Foreman would go on to achieve a great name for himself in the world of boxing, it is interesting to think of what would have happened if he remained undefeated and successfully defended his world championship. He had come into the fight with wins of Joe Frazier and Ken Norton. A win over Ali would have perhaps allowed him to remain undefeated for quite some time. And perhaps we would have even seen a rematch between Foreman and Ali. I believe Foreman losing the championship and never receiving a rematch from Ali took something away from him and stopped the awesome momentum he had before.

When Ali was defeated by Frazier in 1971, it was his first defeat. It was the same Frazier that Foreman dominated to become the heavyweight champion. Had Ali lost to Foreman, perhaps more people may be talking about Foreman today rather than Ali. I believe that win by Ali over Foreman established that he was still a major player in the boxing world. Had he been defeated, it is questionable whether he would have ever regained the heavyweight championship again. And perhaps, the "Thrilla in the Manila" may have never happened. That battle with Frazier in 1975 and the punishment that both men took was likely the beginning of the end of Ali's career.

While reflecting back on this bout, I find myself remembering just how big heavyweight boxing was during the 1970s. Today's heavyweight division is nowhere near that today as unless Floyd Mayweather is part of a card, not many other boxers are drawing the way guys like Ali, Foreman and Frazier did years ago. What do you think?

Loving sports history,

LandoRigs

Don't Underestimate Your Imprint

Yesterday while I was on Facebook, I took some time to reconnect with some friends that I had not spoken to in quite a while. It had nothing to do with what anybody did wrong, but was simply about life getting busier and busier and time just happening to go by. One of my friends I connected with was a former co-worker during my days as a journalist and it was that online conversation that made my day.

I am not a social butterfly in the sense that I am constantly around people and keeping up with everyone. I have my family and probably two to three friends that I keep in touch with on a consistent basis. It has nothing to do with any of my other friends but more to do with how funny I am. Even though I can get up in front of thousands of people and deliver a speech, I actually do not prefer to be within a crowd of a thousand people. I work much better in one-on-one situations or small groups. VERY small groups.

But my buddy who was my co-worker reminisced about the days we worked together and said that we were a "good team." I don't know why, and I am still trying to figure it out even as I type this entry, but this made my day. It made me feel so good that somebody has fond memories of something and I actually had the privilege of being a part of that. It meant so much to me to hear that from him and it made me realize the imprints that we leave in life regardless of whether we are aware of it or not. We are creating memories with people each and every day. The people who come in contact with us are going to remember us even if we think that they won't.

This realization also brings with it a challenge. Is the imprint that we are leaving on others one that allows them to think of us with fondness or one that leads them to think of us with disdain? The choice is ours because we have the ability to decide what type of imprint we leave behind. The imprint that leads to fond memories can impact lives in a significant way. Something for us to think about.

Reflecting in pajamas,

LandoRigs

Take Time to Be Thankful

It's been almost a full week since I've been online to post anything on here. And that's the beauty of being able to have your own blog that is based on your own vision and your own direction. You write when you feel it is time to write, but if you don't have anything, that's okay too.

Today, I just want to remind everyone, including myself, to find things to be thankful for on a daily basis. It can start with just being alive, having food to eat, clothes to wear, a car to drive to our destinations, good health if we have it, etc. Sometimes, we can allow our bad circumstances to become so influential in our lives that we forget all the good things. It's always important to remember those good things. I never really fully appreciated how important that was until I was diagnosed with my kidney disease.

It may seem like I bring up my kidney disease a lot on the blog, but it really was a life changing event for me. Being in the position that I was in, when I was in that hospital back in March 2012, I had no choice but to be thankful of all the good things and good people in my life. God has been more than good to me in my 35 years on this planet and that goodness extends even to this very moment. This thankfulness plays a key role in why I can still have happiness and joy even with my condition and many other challenges that have been in my life in the past two years.

Don't wait until Thanksgiving to be thankful for something. I know that it can be hard at times when you're going through a rough season in your life to think outside of your circumstances. But it can certainly help ease the burden. I also know that when we are going through things, it seems like we have it the worst because we are the ones who directly feel it. But I can guarantee you that there are probably others out there that have it worse than we do. In no way am I belittling our trials, but if you can put food in your mouth, you have something to be thankful for. In America, we're so used to being consumers that can never get enough to the point where we're constantly thinking about what we don't have versus what we do have. For some of us, we need to change our way of thinking.

The older I get, the more I am appreciative of everything in my life. I am appreciative of everything that God has done in my life and for always be there with me through good and bad. I am appreciative of my parents for the great things that they taught me while I was growing up. I am so thankful for my father, who I lived with all the way to the age of 30 till I got married. I am thankful for my brothers, who are truly my brothers in practice, not just by blood. I am thankful for my wife, who has gone through the toughest challenges in my life right along with me and still greets me with a smile every morning. I am thankful for my stepdaughter, who is so special and precious. I am thankful for all the people I've ever worked for and worked with. I'm thankful for the opportunities I've been given and for all the friends I've made along the way. And I am certainly thankful for all my friends, who have blessed me far beyond anything I could do to bless them. Now, that's just the people in my life that I'm thankful for and not even getting into all the good things I've been blessed with.

So take some time and reflect on all the good people and things you have in your life. Do this on a regular basis. This is what makes our lives so rich and puts a smile on our faces. I guarantee it will improve your life.

Thankful for you all,

LandoRigs

Laughing Out Loud #2

I came across this video on Facebook the other day and if you remember the older trilogy of Star Wars and were a fan of the movies, you will get why this is absolutely hilarious! Enjoy!

Laugh this weekend,

LandoRigs

Wisdom Comes From Many Places

There is a strong truth in the fact that as we live life, we will certainly learn many things along the way. We live in a society where getting older is frowned upon and youth is what is more desirable. But in my studies of ancient cultures and many cultures today, it is actually age that is of greater value because the idea is that age produces wisdom. And while we certainly can learn much from older people, what I propose is that we should be able to learn from anyone.

I truly believe that we can obtain wisdom from virtually anyone. Whether younger or older, male or female, wealthy or non-wealthy, educated or non-educated, Christian or non-Christian, parent or child, etc. The question is do we allow ourselves to be open to the wealth of wisdom that exists in the world? How many of us cut off a lot of our access to wisdom because of a person's age, gender, religious affiliation, lifestyle, political views or a host of others things we allow to get in the way? How many older people would be blessed to receive some of the wisdom that many of our youth have been gifted with and vice versa? How many Republicans might gain a better perspective of our society if they took the time to consider some of the things Democrats are proposing and vice versa?

In my opinion, to be a great learner in this world, it takes the ability to be humble and to listen. Humility strips down our pride and allows us to be in a place where we don't know everything and we still have a capacity to learn. Learning to listen allows us to engage in dialogue, which promotes the best way of learning, rather than people simply trying to dominate conversations by being the one to speak the longest. I admit that it is hard for me to be humble in this way because by nature I don't like being told what to do or made to feel like I don't know what's best. But when I take a deep breath and am willing to listen, I gain incredible insights that I've never considered and even if I don't ultimately agree with what the person is saying, I still know I've gained much more understanding as a result of such a conversation. It's made a significantly positive difference in my life to be humble and to listen.

If you believe that because you place someone in a certain classification that they have no wisdom to offer, I ask that you reconsider your perspective. I can't tell you how many times I've seen older people completely dismissed younger people because of the notion that younger people are too young to know anything. And while older people have an advantage in terms of how long they've been alive, they can sometimes lack even more maturity than a younger person. Older people certainly can be a wealth of information but sometimes forget that younger people can have a knowledge that even they don't have because while older people see it, younger people are living it. How beautiful it is when the generations can come together! I have a friend whose mother owns her own business. When my friend grew up, he decided to become an entrepreneur himself. Though his mother raised him and was a great example to him as a entrepreneur, my friend has achieved so much that now his mother comes to him for advice. It can be a beautiful thing when we are open to wisdom not based on race, gender, religion, age, lifestyle, etc.

Now does this mean I am proposing that we simply accept everything and be open to everything? No. But what I do believe is that we shouldn't limit ourselves in the gaining of wisdom. While a Christian and Muslim are not going to agree on God and Jesus, perhaps a Christian can learn a great lesson from a Muslim, when he sees how lovingly the Muslim interacts with his family. Perhaps the Muslim can learn a great lesson in generosity from seeing how the Christian shares his earnings. Neither have to change their beliefs but they have hearts that are open to gaining wisdom that will better their lives.

I can remember when I was a substitute teacher in my early 20s and at one point, I went through a phase where I wore an earring in my left ear. One day while I was working on a high school campus, a girl came up to me and asked me point blank, "Why are you wearing that earring? I don't think it looks good on you." I remember going home that day with that still ringing in my head and it made me stop and think why I had this earring in my ear. As I thought about the silly reasoning behind the earring, at once I removed the earring from my ear and never looked back. Now had I looked at the girl is being young and knowing nothing, would I have gone home and reflected that day. Probably not. I was able to learn something from my encounter with her that day and it was during a time when a great change was taking place in my life.

So remember, don't disqualify the opportunity for wisdom because of the person who is sharing it with you. Instead, be humble enough to take what they are saying or showing you and see if it can better your life. We will know whether it is good or not. But if we have the attitude that "this type of person" can't teach us anything, we're going to miss out on a whole lot.

Something to think about,

LandoRigs

'What If?' Series #2 - The Lakers defeat the Bulls in 1991

The 1990-91 NBA season was seen as the year when former Chicago Bulls great Michael Jordan finally emerged as the new leader in the pro basketball world. Before the end of this season, the NBA had been ruled by former Los Angeles Lakers icon Magic Johnson and Boston Celtics legend Larry Bird. Between the two players, they won 8 NBA championships (Johnson 5, Bird 3) from 1980-1988. They also, along with Julius Erving, spearheaded an entirely new awareness of the NBA that brought the game to levels of popularity it had never seen. Going into the 1990-91 season, Jordan was starting to be recognized as one of the NBA's elite players but didn't have a championship to go with his growing resume.

In what was a fitting NBA Finals matchup for that season, the Bulls took on the Lakers in the NBA Finals. After losing the first came to L.A., Chicago came back and took four straight to win its first NBA championship.

But what if instead of Jordan and the Bulls making history, the Lakers found a way to outlast the Bulls and win it all? Would it have changed the entire landscape of what we knew as NBA basketball in the 1990s? The answer is no.

If the Bulls would have been defeated by the Lakers, knowing Jordan's competitive nature, he would have come back stronger and more focused than ever in the 1991-92 season. So the 1992 and 1993 championships still would have went to Chicago. But here is where it gets different. If Jordan only won back-to-back championships instead of the three-peat we all know from 1991-93, would he have left to play baseball? In my opinion, I don't believe he would. He would have looked to three-peat in 1994, which means that Chicago would have likely crossed paths with the Houston Rockets in the NBA Finals. These two teams might have even played each other for the championship in both 1994 and 1995.

Where things could be more different is that after winning three or four championships in a row, perhaps Jordan would have taken a break from the game in 1996 or 1997. Or he might have stayed to see if he could close out the decade with seven or eight titles.

Whatever the case may be, Jordan would not have denied championship glory even if he lost in 1991. He was too good and he had too talented of a team for that to happen. What are your thoughts?

Reminiscing is fun,

LandoRigs

Missing the Point of the Heart of Christianity

I happened to come across an article today on "Christian" broadcaster Rick Wiles where he is quoted as saying this:

“It may be the great attitude adjustment that I believe is coming,” Wiles continued. “Ebola could solve America’s problems with atheism, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, pornography, and abortion.”

There are a lot of problems with this statement. I don't think there is enough blog space to even tackle everything but I will hit on a few points at least. First, what he is saying is totally against the character of Christianity and its founder, Jesus. The Lord came to save the lost and we believers who share the gospel do so in order to for people to turn their lives around from their sins. What we, who are Christians, also have to remember is that before we were converted, we were also sinners, meaning that we were once in the exact same as the people we are sharing the gospel with. This should create a natural humility among believers, whose hearts are to see people experience the very same salvation that we have. We shouldn't want people to die lost in their sins because neither does God.

Mr. Wiles is looking at Ebola as a possible cure to the problems that he sees with America. How does that reflect the character of Jesus? And as a Christian, shouldn't he view Jesus is the answer to what is going on in America? Frankly, I'm also offended that he would spotlight homosexuality, atheism, sexual promiscuity, pornography and abortion as if those are the only issues going on in this country. What about pride, greed, oppression, selfishness and so many other destructive things that are going on as well? In my estimation, there have been "Christians" who have done just as much damage to our society as anyone else has done in their greed, deception and selfishness. Yet those same people want to point the finger at others. Christian hypocrisy has done a great deal of damage and guys like Mr. Wiles only further damage the name of Christ with things like this.

Within the heart of all Christians should be the desire to see people in sin be freed of their sin. Because we were once in sin, we also should have a special sensitivity for those who still struggle with it. As Christians, we also believe there will come a day when God will set everything in order and the earth will once again become a paradise it was intended to be from the beginning. But that is for God to worry about. As His representatives on this earth now, we are to shine His light, spread His love and teach people His truth. All of this is to be done in love and humility.

Many Christians mistakenly mix their patriotism with their faith and the result is that they start acting as if America is God's kingdom. It isn't. Our Lord already has a kingdom and He invites us to become a part of it. This kingdom isn't favorable to America and it doesn't belong to man. It is for God and it belongs to Jesus. No matter what Christian background or Christian influence exist here, America is a worldly country just like all the others. Christ's kingdom is not of this world. I believe all of us who are believers would do well to remember this.

So be careful of having the attitude of Mr. Wiles. It is not in harmony with who Jesus is and what He represents. Because of it, he is missing the very heart of Christianity.

Loving the sunny days,

LandoRigs

"I Love You" in Action

There are so many ways in life that we can show our love to others. One way is to another person that you love him or her. But the most powerful and lasting display of love tends to be an action that a person does. This is even the case in the Christian faith as John notes in his epistle that God's love isn't shown by what He said but by what He did.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.

-1 John 4:9 (NIV)

For me, there was an expression of love that hit very close to home two years ago. When I was in the hospital and being diagnosed with my kidney disease, I was very weak. I was at a point where I could barely talk and I was on my back in a hospital bed for days. It was a time when my wife experienced the worse of the "better or worse" that was exchanged in our vows. My condition totally changed our lives. And when everything first happened, it was scary. I had never felt so helpless. I had to rely on God in a way I never had to up to that point. But what my wife did for me during that hospital stay is something that I will always be thankful for. She is truly the best woman I have ever known.

I can remember the days when my wife was walking with me by my side when I was trying to muster up enough strength to walk again. At first, I could only take so many steps because my body was so weak. I had to overcome my fear of collapsing while I walked. It was both physical and mental for me. But my wife was with me as those short walks in the hall of the hospital became easier as the days passed by. She made a makeshift bed next to mine in the room when she spent the night in the hospital with me. She constantly checked in with the nurses to make sure that I had the best care. My wife was there when I needed her the most and loved me when I needed it the most. And to this day, she still does.

My wife wasn't the only one who showed love to me during that time. Family, friends and even people I had no idea cared so much expressed their love in a way that I can never repay. I am thankful for each and every person that was a part of it. This post is my chance to show that appreciation and to let them know that I love them too.

Thankful to be alive,

LandoRigs

Your Dreams Don't Have to Be Your Livelihood

It's so interesting how we fall into certain beliefs without even being aware of it much of the time. One such belief is the idea that we have to blend our dreams and our livelihoods in one perfect synergy in order to be able to have a fulfilled adult life. Many of us go out and search for jobs that match our dreams and then become discouraged when we have to end up taking on jobs that have nothing to do with our dreams. I want to say this to all of you who are reading this post today: Your job does not have to be your dream.

I understand that for some of you, combining your dream with your job has been very rewarding. In no way am I discouraging you from continuing. But if you are like me and had the opportunity to combine your love of something with making a living, you may have found the combination to not work out the way you imagined. That is exactly what happened to me.

My first job as a journalist was in 1998 when a professor at University of La Verne (my alma matter) was able to get me work as a sports stringer at a local newspaper. I would go on freelancing for this same newspaper for eight years until I stepped into my first full-time reporting job in 2006. The cool part about freelancing was that because it was not a full-time gig, I always had enough energy left over to work on my own writing projects on my own time. Once I was a full-time journalist, this all changed. This isn't the fault of the newspaper I worked for because they are some of the best people I have ever worked with at any job. But because of the energy and time I had to put in being a full-time journalist, I literally stopped cold turkey working on my own ideas. Over time, all writing became to me was a job and when I had free time, writing was the last thing I wanted to do. I no longer had a love for writing. It had simply become what I did for a living to get the bills paid.

It wasn't until after I was diagnosed with my kidney disease in March 2012 and I left the newspaper in July of the same year that I really began to realize how much writing for a living affected me. While I had a lot of flexibility in my job, the fact of the matter was that I was fulfilling somebody else's vision with my writing and not my own. It took a toll on me. These past two years have given me time for a lot of reflection that I never had the time for before. The honest truth is that one of the reasons why I started this very blog is because I am just starting to find my love for writing again. There are other writing projects that I have been working on, but I found myself starting and stopping each one of them. I asked myself what had happened to me because in my 20s, I wrote as if there was no tomorrow. My writing was a lot less polished than it is now but back then, I wrote like my life depended on it. The issue was that I didn't love writing the way I once did. In order to get that back, I had to do something involving writing that was completely my vision, my baby. This blog has been that for me. I'm not looking to earn a dime from this and don't care how many people visit or don't. Everything that is posted here is from my heart and for the love of doing it. And you know what, I'm slowly starting to get back to that place I once was.

Going forward, I have writing aspirations but I wonder whether I should even do it in order to earn money or not. I just know that I am enjoying where I am at right now with this blog and from there, I will start picking back up my other projects in the near future. One thing is for sure though. Whatever job I work next, I will make sure that I don't write away my love for this tool of expression again just to pay the bills. It isn't worth it. There are other ways to make a living.

So for those of you who found yourselves in a similar predicament as me, a great option to consider is to keep your dream separate from your job. The very purpose of having a job is to make money, plain and simple. For some of us, that is all a job needs to be--the means that allow us to be able to fulfill our true dreams. For me, I want to write for the sheer enjoyment of it. I don't need to make it my living. If that is also how you feel, then don't make your dream your job. It can simply be what you do when you're not working. That sounds a whole lot better to me.

Once again, I'm just sharing my thoughts for the day. In conclusion, do what works for you. Life is too short to be unhappy.

Loving to write again,

LandoRigs

'What If?' Series #1 - Super Bowl XXV

To this day, my heart goes out to the man in the picture to your left. His name is Scott Norwood, a former placekicker for the Buffalo Bills in the 1990s. No matter what his accomplishments were in his profession, what most people will always remember when they hear his name is his missed field goal at the end of Super Bowl XXV that led to a 20-19 victory for the New York Giants that season.

As I thought about that game, it made me think just how different the NFL history of the 1990s might have been if the Bills were able to win that first of four consecutive appearances in the Super Bowl. What if the kick was good and Buffalo brought home its first Super Bowl crown in a 22-20 thriller? Just what if?

Buffalo had all the talent to be Super Bowl champions on a number of occasions in the early 90s. I remember Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas, Kenneth Davis, Andre Reed, Don Beebe, James Lofton, Bruce Smith, etc. But when they lost to the Giants, something happened. The next three times they played in the Super Bowl (vs Washington and vs Dallas twice) they did not even come close to winning. In fact, the three games weren't even competitive. Yet when AFC battles were on the line, the Bills were able to overcome the John Elway-led Denver Broncos, the Joe Montana-led Kansas City Chiefs, the Warren Moon-led Houston Oilers and Dan Marino-led Miami Dolphins. Those were impressive, hard-earned victories, especially the comeback against the Oilers. But when Buffalo played in the Super Bowl, it was as if they were a completely different team.

I would go so far as to say that if Buffalo had beaten the Giants, they may have also beaten Washington and may have taken one of two against Dallas. It is very possible because the idea that they had won the big one would have given them the confidence to get at least another title. With each loss in the Super Bowl, their dreams of becoming champions only seemed to become further and further out of reach until things just completely disintegrated within the organization. The Bills have not been anywhere near the Super Bowl after their last loss to Dallas in 1994. Buffalo has only made four more playoff appearances since with its last playoff appearance coming in the 1999 season. We are currently in 2014. Yikes!

So just a little something for sports fans to think about. We'll be having more 'What If?' posts as a weekly feature going forward. This could be fun.

Enjoy life,

LandoRigs

Don't Let Facebook Drag You Down

It's been a few days since I've sat down to update this blog and man do I love it! As a writer, I can not even begin to express to you how freeing it feels to write what I want and when I feel like doing it. If I decide not to post for a time, it is of no consequence. If I decide I want to rant all week, it is within my power to do so. Through this blog, I am finding my love for writing again and I will share more on that in a post in the near future.

I can remember when Facebook first started out and MySpace was still the more favorable avenue in the world of social media. There was a time when it seemed like everybody was on MySpace. I actually met my wife through MySpace. And then, suddenly the tables were turned and Facebook emerged as the leader in social media. It blew up and took off and now it seems like MySpace is just something in the distant past.

There has been a lot of good in social media. As a result of Facebook, I have reunited with friends from high school, other friends that I hadn't seen in years and it also allows me to keep track of how my friend and family's lives are going on a different level. Some of the discussions that take place on the social media platform at very engaging and you can be involved in groups that suit your interest. For those of you in business, it is also a way to further promote your brand and its activities.

But I have to admit that there are times that I absolutely loathe Facebook, to the point where there are times when I think of canceling my account. It bothers me to my core to see people use social media as a tool to mistreat and spread hatred to others. It just as much bothers me to see such a wealth of misinformation being spread that lead people to form conclusions about other people that they don't even know. The amount of gossip on Facebook is worse than Star Magazine, People Magazine and National Enquirer combined. It is an ugly aspect of Facebook I see on a daily basis.

Let's not even talk about the insane amount of inappropriate, filthy and degrading content that I have to funnel through just to get to something with substance. Years ago, I stopped watching mainstream news on a regular basis because what I constantly saw was the very worse of humanity constantly being bombarded into me as a viewer. But Facebook takes this to a whole another level. Scrolling through many of the posts of Facebook makes some of these news shows look like a dog and pony show. How said is it to see this gift of social media being used in such a way. Because people know they can draw on audience on social media, they will post videos of disturbing things like playing a game where you set yourself on fire. Really? And these videos got millions of views while others who are trying to put out something informative and beneficial are clawing for every single view they can get. It's a sad reality.

Social media can also be addicting. Facebook is becoming just as big of an addiction to some people like drugs or alcohol. People can be so tapped into social media that they are neglecting their families and slowly becoming unable to know how to communicate with someone face-to-face.With social media, we can become so plugged in to the virtual world that we begin to lose touch with the real world. I have met these people who seem like social butterflies online but in person, couldn't hold a conversation for two minutes. And because we can hide behind online tags and usernames, the things that people would never say to a person's face flows like wine in social media, particularly things like racism.

If Facebook has become a stress in your life, the best thing to do is unplug from it. You may need to take time to just unplug for a while or it may be something you need to unplug from altogether. With as many challenges and stresses life brings, we don't need to add anymore difficulty to our lives. There may be certain people on your "friends list" that you need to delete. There may be groups that you need to unsubscribe from. Whatever you need to do to make Facebook work better for you, do it. And if you believe your time on Facebook has run its course in your life, say good riddance. Life is too short and when I was diagnosed with my kidney disease two years ago, I really came to the realization just how short it is.

As for me, I truthfully am still going back and forth as to whether I even want to remain on Facebook. What makes me continue is seeing the blessings in my friends' lives and the thoughtful posts that I see from time to time. I treasure those glimpses into their lives and those insights from their hearts. It just sometimes takes going through a lot to get there. But at this juncture, I don't spend a whole lot of time on it. Just a few minutes at a time. For now, it's better that way.

What works better for you?

More to come,

LandoRigs

Defending Stephen A. Smith

There is a lot of controversy surrounding Stephen A. Smith, who is one of the hosts of ESPN's First Take. On Friday's show, he was speaking on the recent news surrounding the two-game suspension of Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice. As part of his perspective, he talked about the need for there to be awareness regarding how certain behaviors may provoke domestic violence.

Instead of listening to what Smith was saying, many people immediately took what he said to mean that he was somehow condoning domestic violence or that his perspective of "provoking" meant that he felt that women who are victims of domestic violence are somehow deserving of it. Unfortunately, they were not listening to the point that he was trying to make. This seems to happen a lot when issues are addressed in the mainstream media. People get up in arms with wild emotion instead of really stopping and trying to understand what the other person is saying.

Smith repeatedly said that he did not condone domestic violence. I believe him. What he was alluding to is that sometimes domestic violence can be in response to domestic violence and there are situations can indeed can be prevented from escalating to a boiling point. This is actually true. The side of domestic violence stories that seldom are dealt with is the reality that sometimes the victim was once themselves the perpetrator of domestic violence and abuse. This is no way means that all the victims were once perpetrators, it just points out that some are.

Let me give you an example. One day, we hear about a man who commits an act of domestic violence on his wife. We condemn the act and rightfully so. But what we don't recognize and talk about is the fact that the man's wife constantly committed acts of domestic violence against her husband for years. She verbally, emotionally and physically abused her husband on a regular basis. Because the public only zeroes in on the man's act, nobody is addressing the woman's destructive behavior in this situation. She is viewed as being completely innocent. As a result, she will take these same destructive behaviors into her next relationship and the same situation will be more likely to repeat itself. This is a problem, especially for her own well being.

We have to look at this as a big picture and see all the possible elements at play here. Otherwise, destructive behaviors that need to be addressed will not be addressed. As I point these things out, please understand that this is no way condones ANY act of domestic violence. It is all wrong. But abuse of any kind from anybody, both male and female, is also wrong. And the public needs to stop acting as if it is only women who suffer this type of abuse because research would show that is not the case. The public perception is slanted towards believing domestic violence is solely a female victim epidemic. The truth is that it affects both genders significantly. Check out my recent post entitled THE OTHER SIDE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

It is very sad that Smith has to constantly explain and even apologize for his words when there was nothing wrong with what he said. Perhaps in the context of the Ray Rice story it was not the wisest move but he was not and is not condoning domestic violence. What he was pointing out is that there is a cause and effect. A person who constantly yells at and beats on their spouse may one day be on the receiving end of such abuse from the very person who was once the victim. It doesn't make it right and I don't believe it to be right, but it is likely to happen. Let's consider that.

There are plenty of times I disagree with Smith on his perspectives. He is very outspoken and strong about his opinions. But the criticism that has been sent his way has been, in my opinion, unfair. At the end of the day, he believes just like I believe, domestic violence is WRONG!

Just my two cents,

LandoRigs

Laughing Out Loud #1

With all of the heavy topics I've been posting on lately, I've decided to include a weekly video that will just allow everybody to ease up a bit, have a few laughs and put a smile on our faces. This week's video is from "Dude Perfect" on YouTube and is just good clean comedy about fun stereotypes in pickup basketball. Especially if you're a sports guy, you'll get it. Enjoy and have a fabulous weekend!

Stay cool,

LandoRigs

The Other Side of Domestic Violence

So the latest controversy coming out of the NFL is that Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice has been suspended for two games as a result of a domestic violence incident that took place months ago where a camera caught him punching his then fiancee in an elevator and then another camera caught him dragging the same woman by the hair as they got off the elevator. It has raised the ire of many as they feel that the NFL isn't sending a strong enough message against domestic violence behavior of its players. On this note, I wholeheartedly agree.

But each and every time I seem to hear about domestic violence, what bugs me is that I typically hear of a one-sided, one gender focused cause that negates what is happening with the other side and gender. The Obama Administration came out with a public service announcement a couple of years ago that spoke against violence against women and included professional male athletes.

 

While taking up a cause for violence against women is a great endeavor, the fact of the matter is that male victims have been far too overlooked in this regard. If you consider the statistics, you would actually find a very comparable amount of men suffer domestic violence at the hands of women to the women who suffer domestic violence at the hands of men. I won't post the stats here as a Google search of "domestic violence against men" would yield more than enough results to show that many men also are victims as well. 

My question is why leave the men out when so many are going through this? Is it because it is more acceptable in our society for women to be both emotionally and physically abusive to men and supposedly, men are just supposed to take it? A very chilling segment done by ABC News years ago shows that this ideal may play a part in the way some people think about domestic abuse.

So what is the solution to this? Domestic violence shouldn't be acceptable towards any gender. We should have enough respect for each other that we don't have to resort to such abuse. As a rule for humanity, no person, whether male or female, should ever have to endure the horror of domestic violence. And we need to stop talking about it as if it only affects women when the truth is very different.

Another perspective that doesn't get much play is that sometimes domestic violence can be in response to abuse. For instance, a man could be committing domestic violence against the same woman who repeatedly committed violence against him. Or vice versa. In no way is domestic violence in response to domestic violence excusable but I do believe some consideration needs to be given in these situations. For some men and women who constantly throw abuse towards their partner, they may well be on the receiving end of abuse themselves. I don't condone any of it, but it is simply more of a cause and effect. More should be encouraged in the area of people respecting others in general, and perhaps, some of these ugly situations can be avoided. For example, if a woman is always verbally and physically abuse to her husband and one day the husband decides to physically abuse her, she is not innocent. Indeed it isn't right that she was physically abused by her husband but we also must recognize the abuse from her end as well. There can't be a double standard in this, otherwise we are encouraging abusive people to continue to be abusive to the ruin of themselves and their victims.

Domestic violence against men is nothing to laugh at. There are true gentlemen out there that don't want to respond with violence towards their wives or girlfriends and feel stuck. These men need more understanding and encouragement rather than belittlement and mockery. Abuse doesn't make anyone feel good, regardless of your gender. We should be more compassionate regarding this painful reality for many people.

So the next time that you hear of a domestic violence situation and automatically assume it is just women who go through it, think again. It is a human problem.

We'll do this again,

LandoRigs

Questioning is a Good Thing

I can remember when I went to school and it seemed like asking questions was something that was encouraged and embraced. As I got older and worked in the field of journalism, I encountered the opposite on numerous occasions where it seemed like asking questions was met with resistance and annoyance. I found the contrasts in my life to be interesting.

One thing that has served me well in my life is to ask questions about the various things that I see, hear and experience. I believe that it is good to do this. For example, very early in my Christian walk, I accepted a lot of what was told to me about my faith from preachers and my parents. But there came a time in my life where instead of walking by blind faith, I had to put everything I had been taught to the test and see if it was really true. When I did, I found that many of the things that I had been taught were not even true. If I had never questioned what I believe, I would have never reached the conclusions that I did. My faith is as strong as it is because of the questions that I have asked along the way.

Don't ever accept something just because somebody tells you it is true and it sounds convincing. Always search things out for yourself to see if it indeed is true. It is a dangerous thing for a person to simply believe "2+2=4" only because they heard somebody else say it or they read it in a book. Because that person bases his or her knowledge on merely what he has heard or read, if another person comes up with a "2+2=5" argument that sounds more convincing, then suddenly the new argument becomes the truth. But if a person were to believe "2+2=4" because he has actually worked out the problem and reached the answer, it is going to be next to impossible for another argument to convince that person otherwise.

In our society where there is so much information overload, we have to be careful what we believe and what we don't. The mainstream media is constantly pushing ideas and concepts to its consumers in order to influence the public. It knows that not many people are going to research the truth on their own but will simply take their word for it. Our worldviews and perspectives are very much shaped and influenced by what the mainstream media projects out there. I have found the less of it I consume, the better I feel mentally and the more I can really look at the world more objectively. And when I do happen to consume it, I question every bit of it.

Sometimes, questions are not welcome and are even met with backlash. From my perspective, though there are questions that can be inappropriate, there are those who don't want to be questioned on anything at all. Why? Is there something that they're trying to hide or cover up? Is there truth that they don't want others to discover? Anytime somebody questions the Holocaust, why is there such a backlash? As a Christian, people can question Jesus all day long and choose to reject him but they won't see a backlash from me as a result. It is choice that everybody has the right to make. But if somebody questions the Holocaust, they automatically get an "anti-semitic" label affixed to them. Why?

The Holocaust is just one example. There are many other examples we can read throughout history through today of people who question receiving a strong backlash. Once again, why? Is it because the more people question, the more they would see the real truth? I remember when I questioned a pastor at a church I formerly attended about unbiblical behaviors and practices that were taking place and I was told by the pastor I had to right to question him. People who follow others who can not be questioned put themselves in a dangerous of not being able to make those persons accountable. Many church-goers unfortunately do this today.

I am of the notion that something that is right and true can withstand questions and doubts. And if a person is solid in what they believe, it doesn't matter whether people disagree with them or not. This is the way I feel about my faith and I do not feel threatened by those who do not share my faith.

Just some of my thoughts on a Friday. Don't be quick to accept anything. Do your due diligence and search things out for yourself to see whether they be true or not. You may be surprised by what you find.

Sunny in California,

LandoRigs

You Have to Believe

While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?” Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”
-Mark 5:35-36 (NIV)

In the Christian faith, believing is the key to so much. We are asked by God to believe in Him, to believe in His Son Jesus, to believe that His way is what is right for our lives, to believe that we need His reconciliation, to believe that we have the power to overcome our sins, to believe that God will work out all things, etc. Much of what the Christian faith is about is based on belief and unless we have belief, we will never understand it, comprehend it or benefit from it. It is impossible to follow God and not believe in Him.

Belief leads to action. If we truly believe God's way is best, we won't go our own way. If we truly believe that God loves us, then we won't live our lives as if He doesn't. If we believe that what God says is sin is indeed sin, then we won't be attributing things to God that are sinful. If we believe that Jesus is truly the only way to God, then we won't be welcoming other ways that the rest of the world are using to try and reach God. I can continue on but a solid belief is what leads to action representing that belief. A Christian who fully believes in and trusts in God will reflect that in his or her life. And if it isn't reflected, then we have to go back to the drawing board and check and see where our belief status lies in regards to Him.

I see the idea of belief in our everyday lives. Think about people who believe in themselves to accomplish tasks versus others who are trying to accomplish the same tasks but have no belief. What you will see is that the person who has the belief will more likely be more successful in accomplishing the tasks. Meanwhile, the person with no belief is already defeated from the very beginning and not only won't be successful in accomplishing the tasks, they may have trouble even getting started. We can see with our own eyes that there is a difference in the world between those who have belief versus those who don't.

Whether you are a Christian or not, belief plays a very important role in the life of every human being. When you believe in something, you are more likely to give your all, continue to push even in the face of failure, hope against all hope and will not stop until you accomplish what you've set out to do. Your life will reflect that belief. When you don't believe in something, your enthusiasm about it is lacking or completely missing, you are more than likely not going to see it through and are more likely to give up the moment things get tough.

When we look at people who are successful in a worldly sense, whether for better or for worse, do you notice that all of them have a strong belief in themselves and what they do? Many times we get stuck looking at all of the breaks and perks these people have gotten along the way, which do make a difference, but the fact of the matter is without the individual belief and drive associated with that belief, none of these people's efforts would amount to anything. This is a truth in the Christian faith and just is a truth in the way life works.

So are there things that you want to accomplish and things that you really have your heart set on but you don't even begin the journey because you're afraid of failing or coming up short? Or maybe you've started the journey but you stopped because the difficulties along the way discouraged you? Stop and ask yourself where your belief is. What is stopping you from believing? Many times, it is fear that prevents you from having the belief you need to reach your goals. Belief and fear can not work together. One will always win out over the other.

Don't be afraid, just believe.

-Jesus

Jesus is telling his audience here to overcome their fear with belief. Being that we are human beings, we are naturally going to feel fear at times in our lives. The question is whether we allow ourselves to be overcome by fear or do we turn the tables on our fear and replace it with belief. As in most things, the choice is ours.

Just maybe, turning that fear into belief may turn everything around in your life. Are you willing to take the leap of faith?

Always believing,

LandoRigs

Start Your Life Afresh

If you live long enough in life, you've have definitely known what it feels like to have regrets. You know what it is like to have done somebody wrong, make mistakes and just blow it big time. We have all been there and some of us may be there today.

The good news about it all is that no matter what we have done, we can still turn things around and start fresh and new. If we are willing to change, willing to recognize how bad we've messed up and then be willing to do something about it, we can give our lives a new start. Former alcoholics have done it when they decided to put the bottle away for the last time and be sober. Former drug addicts have done it when they decided that their last hit was really their last hit. While we may not be able to avoid the consequences of our actions, what we can do is change our lives now for the better. This is something that any of us can do.

My life today is different than the life that I used to live. For example, I used to cuss and did so freely. But one day, I decided to change that and dedicated my life to having pure speech. Many people who cuss make excuses that it is just the way that they are, which is true in a sense, but if those people were to put as strong an effort into changing the way they speak as they do defending it, they would find that they can take those four letter words out of their vocabulary for good. It is possible, but the question is are we willing to do what it takes to get there?

Some of you who are reading this have been defined too long by your past and it is time for you to stop living up to the past and create a new life for yourself now. Sometimes you feel that because of the things that you did in the past that you don't deserve to try and be anything different. And when people constantly bring up your past to you, it discourages you and makes you wonder why even try to continue on a better path when people are still condemning you for things you've already stopped doing. It's hard and that's part of the consequences of bad choices we make in life. But what needs to matter in your life is not what others think of you, it's what you know you're doing is right and better. Encourage yourself knowing that you are a better person than you once were regardless of what others say or think.

I, I am he
who blots out your transgressions for my own sake,
and I will not remember your sins.

-Isaiah 43:25 (ESV)

An aspect of the gospel of Jesus Christ is based on the fact that we have messed up mightily towards God but through Jesus, we are offered the opportunity to start again with a clean slate (the forgiveness of sins). Even God is one who isn't trying the hold the past over people's heads. The whole idea of repentance is that if we are willing to change our ways for the better, God is willing to let all the things in the past go and even forget them. And not only that, He will also give us the ability to live that better life and to not become entangled in the past life again. Yes, a new life is something that even God would want for us.

I want you to encourage you today that if you are tormented by your past, whether it be poor decisions that you have made and/or horrific things that you've had to go through, you have the opportunity to change all of that. It isn't going to be easy but the effort you put into turning your life around will yield a great reward. I once met a woman who was part of a Mormon fundamentalist sect where she was one of several wives and suffered terrible abuse. Today, she speaks out against the sect and does not allow the past to define who she desires to be today. Her name is Carolyn Jessop and you can do a Google search and find out more about her story.

Keep your head up and know that if you're living for the better, you are on the right track. Live and know who you are today. Yesterday has past, what you are today is what matters.

Till next time,

LandoRigs

When is the Last Time You've Laughed?

I absolutely love to laugh. In fact, I just happen to naturally laugh multiple times on a daily basis. Anybody who knows me knows that I am very silly and I enjoy that part of being me. One of the reasons I believe I can smile every day is because of the fact that I laugh a lot. I've come across people in my life that seem so intense and so serious and I wonder how can they really be happy being that way. Their faces are so stoic and they don't find anything to be funny. In my opinion, they need to laugh more.

If you have found yourself being way too serious lately, it is time for you to laugh. One of my favorite memories was when my childhood friend was coming out of the hospital after getting surgery for a hernia he had. I drove him back home and spent the day with him just so he would have some company as he recovered. The poor guy didn't have his urinating function for a while and even though I knew he was in great discomfort, we found a way to giggle about it. Later that day, we went to see Rush Hour 2 at the local movie theatre. I felt so bad for my friend because he wanted to burst out laughing so much but he couldn't and that made the overall experience hilarious. We still laugh about that to this day.

Because we've known each other so long, he also knows the time when we were both in elementary school and my mom used to send me breakfast pockets to eat before I went to school. I didn't like them and instead of telling my mom that, I kept a collection of breakfast pockets in my backpack until they started smelling everything up. My mom was getting complaints from school and one day told me to empty out my backpack. When I did, a bunch of molded breakfast pockets were unveiled. When my mom asked me why I did it, I had a stupid look on my face that was probably classic. We still laugh about that too.

Stop taking life so seriously. Not laughing is not a sign of maturity. It is a sign to you need to loosen up and start enjoying life a little more. It is okay to laugh. Doctors will even tell you that you should laugh. If you're not laughing daily, make it your mission to do so. Everybody is going to find different things that are funny for them. Find that out for yourself. Just keep it good-natured.

And now, I leave you with something that has me laughing to tears every time I see it. A much needed JaVale McGee clip to make sure I get my daily dose of laughter in:

Laugh this weekend,

LandoRigs

Rising Above Stereotypes

If you haven't had a chance to read my previous entries entitled TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHOICES and WHY I'VE COME TO DESPISE LABELING, please do as those posts are kind of related to what this post will be about.

According to the dictionary, a stereotype is "a widely held but fixed image or idea of a particular type of person or thing." What this means is that a stereotype about a person entails a view about people or things that many people believe. There are many negative stereotypes that are prevalent within our society that is especially magnified by the mainstream media. According to these stereotypes, a Muslim has a great chance of being a terrorist or linked to one, Black females have attitudes, Asians only care about money, Christians hate homosexuals, etc.

While the negative stereotypes will be there and aren't going anywhere soon, we as individuals do not have to live up to any of them. It is a choice that all of us can make. As a black man, I could have chosen to give in to many of the terrible stereotypes that involve the men of my race. But I refuse to do it. As a result, I do not fit those stereotypes and I can take comfort in the fact that I am not contributing to them. I give a lot of credit to my parents, who also do not fit the negative stereotypes involving black people. But it is a choice that people must make.

The photo that you are viewing to your right is of a young 14-year-old girl by the name of Thessalonika Arzu-Embry. At the age of 14, she is getting ready to graduate from college with a bachelor's degree in psychology with an impressive 3.9 GPA. She has been attending Chicago State University since she was 11 years old! Unbelievable. After graduating, she plans to continue her education. What a breath of fresh air it was coming across her story. You can check out an article for yourself HERE.

This is a black girl who is going against the negative stereotypes of black girls and paving her own way in life. She is not carrying an attitude, not caught up in teenage pregnancy and other wiles that are to the detriment of young black females. Most importantly, she has a relationship with God and I am sure that allows her to have a very strong anchor in her life. Thessalonika is off and running and I couldn't be more proud of what she has accomplished and what she will accomplish. She has overcome the negative stereotypes and is an intelligent, bright young lady. We don't have to give in and live up to the negative stereotypes. We can topple them by being the best that we can be.

Just because men are portrayed as being stupid and irresponsible doesn't mean that all men have to be that way. Just because many popular women of our culture are inappropriate doesn't mean that all women have to be that way. We each have choices to make as individuals in terms of how we want to be and how we want to be portrayed. Choose to portray yourself in a positive way and beat the stereotypes that are designed to wrongly categorize you and predict who you are to be. Don't even give those stereotypes even a bit of luxury of being able to be applied to you.

Rise above negative stereotypes. Don't let them hold you down. Don't let them define you. You are better than that.

Be the best you can be,

LandoRigs

Why I've Come to Despise Labeling

Humanity loves labels. It loves the ability to take the unique personalities of individuals and classify them into simple categories in which a label becomes affixed. We do this in everything. For instance, a Christian, Muslim and Buddhist are categorized as "religious" people when what they represent actually goes beyond religion. On sports teams, we have "elite players" and "role players" to continually differentiate between those who grab the attention and those who don't. In some ways, it is helpful to have labels. But in others, it becomes very harmful and even dangerous when considering a person's worldview.

How many people think that most Muslims are aggressive terrorists? How many people think that all Black women have attitudes? How many people think that Black men are not responsible? How many people think that Asians only care about money? How many people think that all "conservatives" are Christian and that all "liberals" lack morality? How many people think that husbands are more likely to be abusive than wives? These things have to do with the stereotypes and labels that are constantly portrayed in our society and many people accept it hook, line and sinker. I used to buy into many of these labels myself until as I got older and the more people I met, I realized that each individual is unique and different--meaning that not everybody is meant to fit into simple, compact categories. And honestly, I have to admit, that when I see certain traits, I have to actually catch myself so that I don't go into labeling mode.

Lately, there has been a very divisive issue going on in America. Children, who are crossing the border from other countries, are being transported to multiple destinations throughout the United States. For some, to embrace the children rather than send them away is what is best. For others, the considerations that come with such an influx of persons outside of the country lead the conclusion that the children should be deported. It's a hot issue and I understand both sides of this. But is the greater public willing to show the same understanding?

I can't tell you how many times I've heard and read people calling those who are protesting what is happening at the border "racists." Indeed, I have seen examples of racist behavior from some of the protesters, but not everyone who disagrees with what is happening is a racist. And the people who have compassion for the children are not blind to the ramifications of having an addition to the country. What I have noticed is that once people develop labels for others and put them to use, it allows them to disregard their cause altogether so that we can never truly gain understanding about why the other side feels the way it does. It happens a lot nowadays and I have seen it from the Trayvon Martin case, the Donald Serling controversy, same-sex marriage, and in my opinion, even the Holocaust. And once you've been labeled, if you don't get with the program, then people don't want to listen to what you have to say, even if there is validity in what you are saying. I don't agree with this and we miss out on the "why" in a lot of things because of it.

One of the biggest things I despise about labeling is that idea that we can know who a person is and fully judge the intentions of that person's heart based on the label. This is wrong. Think of two robbers. One robs because he is trying to put food on the table for his wife and children. The other robs because taking away from people gives him some sort of twisted pleasure. While they both commit the same crime, these are two different people doing it. They wouldn't fit under one label. I understand that we have to make choices based off of people's actions but to try and claim we totally know a person is arrogant. And this is coming from somebody who has been that arrogant person myself. So I know.

We can change this though. What it would take is a deliberate effort to make sure that we judge each person as an individual. We don't assume and jump to conclusions about others based on stereotypes and labels. We make our judgments based on what we directly experience from the person's character and behavior. This doesn't mean that we don't use wisdom either. What it does mean is that we give people a fair shake and try to understand where they're coming from even if it is something that we can never agree with. I think we can do much better in that regard.

Still growing,

LandoRigs

Trusting in God

I can remember being in church services when I was a young kid and when I saw people who seemed like they were so close to God, I wondered how they did that. How does a person get so close to God that he or she can trust and depend on Him as if He is the only one worth trusting? I didn't understand it but I knew that when I was younger, I eventually wanted to get to a point where I was such a person.

There used to be a time when I couldn't really identify with the stories of Abraham, Moses, David, Elijah and the many others in the bible who came to a place when they had to totally depend on God. It was more of a "hey, that's nice" sort of thing but I remember thinking that God just must have done more extraordinary things during the Old Testament times and I should just be happy with the invitation I received to God from Jesus death and resurrection. But sometimes, as I have found out, God only needs to open our eyes to what is really going on for us to see that He's at work all along.

In 2 Kings 6, the king of Aram was at war with Israel. His forces surrounded the city of Dothan, where Elisha the prophet was staying. Check out how a man's eyes were opened by God to see the true circumstances that were going on when he saw the city surrounded by Aram's forces:

When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city. And the servant said, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?” He said, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Then Elisha prayed and said, “O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.” So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 

- 2 Kings 6:15-17 (ESV)

God had to open the eyes of the servant so that he saw that he had no reason to fear because the Lord had supplied them with a defense that Aram's forces would not even come close to matching. It's an amazing story in the bible of how sometimes we just need God to open our eyes so that we can see things differently and truly have confidence in the Lord.

When I was diagnosed with End Stage Renal Failure in March 2012, it turned my world upside down. I was in a place where I had no choice but to depend on God. But that decision was not a hard one because years ago, He opened my eyes and all the times that I thought that my circumstances were mere good fortune, He proved to me that it was Him that made it so. This revelation blew me away and left me almost speechless. It was like having your life laid out in front of you and realizing how much different things would have been if only a minute detail were changed. He not only was there with my in my toughest hour, He had always been there. 

The last two years have been a interesting ride to say the least but God's hand has been with me every step of the way. First, when I went to the hospital in the middle of the night due to an agonizing headache, I was told that had I not showed up at that time, I (at the age of 32 then) was in danger of having a stroke at any time. My blood pressure reading was over 200 and my vision had started becoming distorted in the weeks leading up to that hospital visit. Even with my health going downhill in that last month leading up to my diagnosis, I kept charging forward until my body literally couldn't take anymore. The interesting thing is that my diagnosis was of such that I had a rare condition (IGA nephropathy - body attacking kidney) where I was in trouble regardless and my stress simply brought it on quicker.

That night changed my life for the better. What? How in the world could having a kidney disease be part of a better life? Especially when unless I get a kidney transplant or by a miraculous recovery, my very life is at hand? Because God from the very beginning allowed me to see how awesome He's been and is. I almost had a stroke, which means that I was very close to death. I am alive today and still have my faculties about me. If I had my condition 100 years ago, I would have been in big trouble but being born when I was, there was enough knowledge to where I am be on dialysis and still have a strong quality of life. Back in December 2011, I remember praying to God to help me with my stress and to put my in a place where I could rest and spend more time with my family. That is exactly what I have now with a life that is significantly less stressful, I get lots of rest and I spend a lot of time with my family. In July 2012, I made the bold move to not return to work and I haven't worked a day since March 2012. My wife quit her job a month earlier and is now on a career path she desires rather than one she has had to do to make money. And God has provided all along the way.

It's not that it has been easy. What my wife and I have gone through these past two years would break many marriages apart. But because my wife and I are committed to our love and to our union, those challenges only made us stronger. Because we are pretty private people, most people don't know half of what we've gotten through together. But by God's grace we have remained loyal, faithful and in love with one another no matter the circumstances. I thank God for my wife like crazy because I wouldn't be where I am today without her. She has been an amazing gift in my life and is the most amazing person I know. 

That kid who wanted to know what it was like to be close to God is the 35-year-old who is. My happiness and peace comes directly from Him and I trust Him. He has never let me down. I share this today because you may be going through a tough time right now. The circumstances in your life may be overwhelming. But I can testify that God is greater than our problems. I pray that He may open your eyes as well.

Thankful to be alive,

LandoRigs

The Age Old Way To Win People Over

I do my best to live by Jesus' words in the verses above. And it is something I take very seriously as a parent, knowing how I treat my child will make a difference on how she perceives and regards me. While as a parent, I am in a position of authority, it in no way permits me to abuse such authority. The same should be true in employer-employee relationships, teacher-student relationships, police-citizen relationships, etc.

Today, I came across an article from CNN.com in which a water company is looking to institute a bathroom break limit to its employees as a way of increasing production. From the company's standpoint, the employees have been taking advantage of current bathroom break policy. From the worker's view, the company is harassing them in an unnecessary way. As a person who takes a particular interest in how workers are treated in the workplace, the story caught my interest.

What continues to boggle my mind is that in this day and age, many employers still do not do right by their employees. It's as if they forget that the people who come to work for them everyday are actually human and not mere robots. Being that workers are human, they are worthy of dignity and respect. But so many workers do not receive this from their employers. To me, it would actually be more financially and publicly beneficial for companies to run themselves in fairness and good will. Too many of them don't.

I can list 10 things right now off the top of my head that would improve the work experience for most Americans and would increase production on the job and render happier workers if these things were actually followed:

1. Pay workers a more deserving salary.
2. If workload is increased, increase salary.
3. Encourage workers with positive reinforcement rather than negative.
4. Realize that workers have a life outside of the company and be sensitive to that.
5. Give workers longer lunch breaks and more breaks throughout the day to keep them sharp.
6. Give workers more of an incentive to do their best with bonuses and promotions for hard work.
7. Provide proper training for workers so they don't feel lost and frustrated with job assignment.
8. Treat workers with dignity and respect they deserve at all times.
9. Develop a system where input and concerns of workers is actually valued.
10. Do not blame all problems within the company on the workers.

How much happier people would be to go to work, even if it isn't their career of choice, if more of these things were implemented within companies? The key to all relationships is that if we treat others as good as we would treat ourselves, we could build some real solid relationships.

As I write this, I can't help think about people in the past that I've wronged. Most of the people I've wronged I've actually had the chance to apologize to and make amends. But there is this one guy who was a good friend of mine back in the 8th grade when I attended Montebello Intermediate School. Frank was by all accounts a good guy and we shared similar interests in basketball, video games and WWF wrestling. He had a nice mother, friendly sister and a seemingly cool dad, at least in the beginning. I soon came to find out that his dad was an alcoholic. And while he was friendly to me, he was not so friendly to his family, particularly his wife.

One day, my buddy was visiting me and we went swimming. His dad came to pick him up and somehow, my dad and his dad got into an argument. His dad actually called my father the n-word. I was so upset over what had happened and I wrongly took it out on my friend in being mean to him and turning people against him. To this day, I regret what I did to him and that is one of the reasons why I seek to do right by people today. I've never had a chance to apologize to him or make amends for all the hurt that I wrongly caused him. He wasn't the one who said the n-word and even tried to convince me that he didn't feel the way his dad did. But I wouldn't listen and that's one of the hard life lessons that I've had to learn. He was a good friend and I lost him because I treated him poorly.

I guarantee you, the more you treat others with love, kindness and respect, you will find that you receive it in return more often than not. It becomes contagious, but in a good way. It is the age old way of how to win people over and have people who would go out of their way for you in return. If you left an amazing tip for a waiter and then return to be served by that waiter again, see if that waiter doesn't bend over backwards even more to give you an amazing experience. Sometimes, we sit back and wait for others to do for us before we'll do for them. But what is stopping us for doing for them anyway? Can we imagine a world where we had that type of mindset?

This is just something for you to think about in the middle of the week.We would be in a much better world if we treated each other better. Jesus had it right.

Happy trails,

LandoRigs

Take Responsibility for Your Choices

Just last week, I was reading an article on a young black boy who was being tried as an adult and sentenced to 23 years in prison for killing a service dog. It was amazing how many people were stuck on the sentence instead of seeing the the real issue. The boy had been on the wrong side of the law on several occasions and this seemed to be merely the straw that broke the camel's back. The boy was quoted in the article as saying that he wasn't really a violent person and the drugs and alcohol he consumed were the factors in his criminal behavior.

I have an issue with people who make excuses for their behavior instead of owning up to what they do. I've been there before myself and as people, we do this on both a small and large scale. But there is a great danger in putting the blame on others instead of taking responsibility for our choices. There will be times when our circumstances are beyond our control, but more often that not, our choices are what shape our lives. The lack of personal responsibility allows us to make even poorer decisions down the road and leads us to avoiding the real changes that we sometimes need to make in our lives. If we can always explain away everything, then we justify ourselves and when we justify ourselves then we will never see a problem with ourselves. It's a road that tends to lead to lots of heartbreak and suffering that actually could have been prevented. The black boy I mentioned in the first paragraph could have avoided being in a courtroom at all if he made better choices.

To take full responsibility for the wrongs we do takes a significant amount of humility. Pride tends to get in the way of this. I can not tell you how many lives would be different today if more of us would look at ourselves as being possible contributors to our problems rather than the blame always resting with other people. Sure, others can play a significant factor in our situations, but many times we have the ability to make decisions to alter our course for the better. There are devastating consequences when we make poor ones.

Here's the good news about taking responsibility for our actions. We can change. Where we are missing the mark, we can correct it. And as a result, we can become better people. We can never change what we've done in the past but we can pay careful attention to what we do now and in the future. The solution is within our grasp if we are willing to take it. I am convinced after 35 years on this earth that I do not have the power to change people. I can plead with people about the right way to go but if they don't understand it, I'm pleading on deaf ears. Only God can change people and even then, he waits for a person to have a CHANGE of heart (repentance) before He transforms him or her. The key to a better life rests in our hands. It is us that must make the right choices.

Have you ever tried helping somebody who really doesn't want to change? At some time, you will realize that your efforts are getting you nowhere and will find yourself being frustrated. The problem is that the person who needs the help has to actually believe he or she needs the help before anyone can move forward. Otherwise you will keep coming to the same frustrating place with that person, hitting the same wall. If the person doesn't see in themselves the need to change, then they will not change, period. If the person blames all of his or her issues on somebody else or on a set of circumstances, then that person really doesn't take any responsibility as to what happens in his or her life. Therefore, no change and the more you push, the further you push that person away from you.

If there is something that you've been refusing to change, even though you have had multiple people tell you otherwise for your own good, then perhaps it is time to stop fighting it and start changing it. You will be surprised at how your life changes for the better. But remember that it starts with you, nobody else can change for you. If your last marriage failed and you realize there were things you did that contributed to that, change it so that you don't bring it into your next relationship. If you have a tendency to have an attitude and a loud mouth, change that and become a more pleasant person. If you have a tendency to lie and not tell the truth, change that and become a more trustworthy person. If you find yourself constantly pregnant with babies that fathers won't help take care of, stop seeking going out with men that use you for sex and then move on. As Captain Planet used to say, "The power is yours."

Take responsibility for your mistakes and start fresh. Always ask if there are things that you can do better in because that assessment and action taken might bring you to the next level. Don't keep being stuck in the same rut, making the same decisions and getting the same disastrous results when you could be in a better place. When you make mistakes, learn from them so that you don't keep repeating them.

It all starts with you and only you. Keep that in mind and make good choices.

Happy Monday,

LandoRigs