Your Dreams Don't Have to Be Your Livelihood

It's so interesting how we fall into certain beliefs without even being aware of it much of the time. One such belief is the idea that we have to blend our dreams and our livelihoods in one perfect synergy in order to be able to have a fulfilled adult life. Many of us go out and search for jobs that match our dreams and then become discouraged when we have to end up taking on jobs that have nothing to do with our dreams. I want to say this to all of you who are reading this post today: Your job does not have to be your dream.

I understand that for some of you, combining your dream with your job has been very rewarding. In no way am I discouraging you from continuing. But if you are like me and had the opportunity to combine your love of something with making a living, you may have found the combination to not work out the way you imagined. That is exactly what happened to me.

My first job as a journalist was in 1998 when a professor at University of La Verne (my alma matter) was able to get me work as a sports stringer at a local newspaper. I would go on freelancing for this same newspaper for eight years until I stepped into my first full-time reporting job in 2006. The cool part about freelancing was that because it was not a full-time gig, I always had enough energy left over to work on my own writing projects on my own time. Once I was a full-time journalist, this all changed. This isn't the fault of the newspaper I worked for because they are some of the best people I have ever worked with at any job. But because of the energy and time I had to put in being a full-time journalist, I literally stopped cold turkey working on my own ideas. Over time, all writing became to me was a job and when I had free time, writing was the last thing I wanted to do. I no longer had a love for writing. It had simply become what I did for a living to get the bills paid.

It wasn't until after I was diagnosed with my kidney disease in March 2012 and I left the newspaper in July of the same year that I really began to realize how much writing for a living affected me. While I had a lot of flexibility in my job, the fact of the matter was that I was fulfilling somebody else's vision with my writing and not my own. It took a toll on me. These past two years have given me time for a lot of reflection that I never had the time for before. The honest truth is that one of the reasons why I started this very blog is because I am just starting to find my love for writing again. There are other writing projects that I have been working on, but I found myself starting and stopping each one of them. I asked myself what had happened to me because in my 20s, I wrote as if there was no tomorrow. My writing was a lot less polished than it is now but back then, I wrote like my life depended on it. The issue was that I didn't love writing the way I once did. In order to get that back, I had to do something involving writing that was completely my vision, my baby. This blog has been that for me. I'm not looking to earn a dime from this and don't care how many people visit or don't. Everything that is posted here is from my heart and for the love of doing it. And you know what, I'm slowly starting to get back to that place I once was.

Going forward, I have writing aspirations but I wonder whether I should even do it in order to earn money or not. I just know that I am enjoying where I am at right now with this blog and from there, I will start picking back up my other projects in the near future. One thing is for sure though. Whatever job I work next, I will make sure that I don't write away my love for this tool of expression again just to pay the bills. It isn't worth it. There are other ways to make a living.

So for those of you who found yourselves in a similar predicament as me, a great option to consider is to keep your dream separate from your job. The very purpose of having a job is to make money, plain and simple. For some of us, that is all a job needs to be--the means that allow us to be able to fulfill our true dreams. For me, I want to write for the sheer enjoyment of it. I don't need to make it my living. If that is also how you feel, then don't make your dream your job. It can simply be what you do when you're not working. That sounds a whole lot better to me.

Once again, I'm just sharing my thoughts for the day. In conclusion, do what works for you. Life is too short to be unhappy.

Loving to write again,

LandoRigs

'What If?' Series #1 - Super Bowl XXV

To this day, my heart goes out to the man in the picture to your left. His name is Scott Norwood, a former placekicker for the Buffalo Bills in the 1990s. No matter what his accomplishments were in his profession, what most people will always remember when they hear his name is his missed field goal at the end of Super Bowl XXV that led to a 20-19 victory for the New York Giants that season.

As I thought about that game, it made me think just how different the NFL history of the 1990s might have been if the Bills were able to win that first of four consecutive appearances in the Super Bowl. What if the kick was good and Buffalo brought home its first Super Bowl crown in a 22-20 thriller? Just what if?

Buffalo had all the talent to be Super Bowl champions on a number of occasions in the early 90s. I remember Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas, Kenneth Davis, Andre Reed, Don Beebe, James Lofton, Bruce Smith, etc. But when they lost to the Giants, something happened. The next three times they played in the Super Bowl (vs Washington and vs Dallas twice) they did not even come close to winning. In fact, the three games weren't even competitive. Yet when AFC battles were on the line, the Bills were able to overcome the John Elway-led Denver Broncos, the Joe Montana-led Kansas City Chiefs, the Warren Moon-led Houston Oilers and Dan Marino-led Miami Dolphins. Those were impressive, hard-earned victories, especially the comeback against the Oilers. But when Buffalo played in the Super Bowl, it was as if they were a completely different team.

I would go so far as to say that if Buffalo had beaten the Giants, they may have also beaten Washington and may have taken one of two against Dallas. It is very possible because the idea that they had won the big one would have given them the confidence to get at least another title. With each loss in the Super Bowl, their dreams of becoming champions only seemed to become further and further out of reach until things just completely disintegrated within the organization. The Bills have not been anywhere near the Super Bowl after their last loss to Dallas in 1994. Buffalo has only made four more playoff appearances since with its last playoff appearance coming in the 1999 season. We are currently in 2014. Yikes!

So just a little something for sports fans to think about. We'll be having more 'What If?' posts as a weekly feature going forward. This could be fun.

Enjoy life,

LandoRigs

Don't Let Facebook Drag You Down

It's been a few days since I've sat down to update this blog and man do I love it! As a writer, I can not even begin to express to you how freeing it feels to write what I want and when I feel like doing it. If I decide not to post for a time, it is of no consequence. If I decide I want to rant all week, it is within my power to do so. Through this blog, I am finding my love for writing again and I will share more on that in a post in the near future.

I can remember when Facebook first started out and MySpace was still the more favorable avenue in the world of social media. There was a time when it seemed like everybody was on MySpace. I actually met my wife through MySpace. And then, suddenly the tables were turned and Facebook emerged as the leader in social media. It blew up and took off and now it seems like MySpace is just something in the distant past.

There has been a lot of good in social media. As a result of Facebook, I have reunited with friends from high school, other friends that I hadn't seen in years and it also allows me to keep track of how my friend and family's lives are going on a different level. Some of the discussions that take place on the social media platform at very engaging and you can be involved in groups that suit your interest. For those of you in business, it is also a way to further promote your brand and its activities.

But I have to admit that there are times that I absolutely loathe Facebook, to the point where there are times when I think of canceling my account. It bothers me to my core to see people use social media as a tool to mistreat and spread hatred to others. It just as much bothers me to see such a wealth of misinformation being spread that lead people to form conclusions about other people that they don't even know. The amount of gossip on Facebook is worse than Star Magazine, People Magazine and National Enquirer combined. It is an ugly aspect of Facebook I see on a daily basis.

Let's not even talk about the insane amount of inappropriate, filthy and degrading content that I have to funnel through just to get to something with substance. Years ago, I stopped watching mainstream news on a regular basis because what I constantly saw was the very worse of humanity constantly being bombarded into me as a viewer. But Facebook takes this to a whole another level. Scrolling through many of the posts of Facebook makes some of these news shows look like a dog and pony show. How said is it to see this gift of social media being used in such a way. Because people know they can draw on audience on social media, they will post videos of disturbing things like playing a game where you set yourself on fire. Really? And these videos got millions of views while others who are trying to put out something informative and beneficial are clawing for every single view they can get. It's a sad reality.

Social media can also be addicting. Facebook is becoming just as big of an addiction to some people like drugs or alcohol. People can be so tapped into social media that they are neglecting their families and slowly becoming unable to know how to communicate with someone face-to-face.With social media, we can become so plugged in to the virtual world that we begin to lose touch with the real world. I have met these people who seem like social butterflies online but in person, couldn't hold a conversation for two minutes. And because we can hide behind online tags and usernames, the things that people would never say to a person's face flows like wine in social media, particularly things like racism.

If Facebook has become a stress in your life, the best thing to do is unplug from it. You may need to take time to just unplug for a while or it may be something you need to unplug from altogether. With as many challenges and stresses life brings, we don't need to add anymore difficulty to our lives. There may be certain people on your "friends list" that you need to delete. There may be groups that you need to unsubscribe from. Whatever you need to do to make Facebook work better for you, do it. And if you believe your time on Facebook has run its course in your life, say good riddance. Life is too short and when I was diagnosed with my kidney disease two years ago, I really came to the realization just how short it is.

As for me, I truthfully am still going back and forth as to whether I even want to remain on Facebook. What makes me continue is seeing the blessings in my friends' lives and the thoughtful posts that I see from time to time. I treasure those glimpses into their lives and those insights from their hearts. It just sometimes takes going through a lot to get there. But at this juncture, I don't spend a whole lot of time on it. Just a few minutes at a time. For now, it's better that way.

What works better for you?

More to come,

LandoRigs

Defending Stephen A. Smith

There is a lot of controversy surrounding Stephen A. Smith, who is one of the hosts of ESPN's First Take. On Friday's show, he was speaking on the recent news surrounding the two-game suspension of Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice. As part of his perspective, he talked about the need for there to be awareness regarding how certain behaviors may provoke domestic violence.

Instead of listening to what Smith was saying, many people immediately took what he said to mean that he was somehow condoning domestic violence or that his perspective of "provoking" meant that he felt that women who are victims of domestic violence are somehow deserving of it. Unfortunately, they were not listening to the point that he was trying to make. This seems to happen a lot when issues are addressed in the mainstream media. People get up in arms with wild emotion instead of really stopping and trying to understand what the other person is saying.

Smith repeatedly said that he did not condone domestic violence. I believe him. What he was alluding to is that sometimes domestic violence can be in response to domestic violence and there are situations can indeed can be prevented from escalating to a boiling point. This is actually true. The side of domestic violence stories that seldom are dealt with is the reality that sometimes the victim was once themselves the perpetrator of domestic violence and abuse. This is no way means that all the victims were once perpetrators, it just points out that some are.

Let me give you an example. One day, we hear about a man who commits an act of domestic violence on his wife. We condemn the act and rightfully so. But what we don't recognize and talk about is the fact that the man's wife constantly committed acts of domestic violence against her husband for years. She verbally, emotionally and physically abused her husband on a regular basis. Because the public only zeroes in on the man's act, nobody is addressing the woman's destructive behavior in this situation. She is viewed as being completely innocent. As a result, she will take these same destructive behaviors into her next relationship and the same situation will be more likely to repeat itself. This is a problem, especially for her own well being.

We have to look at this as a big picture and see all the possible elements at play here. Otherwise, destructive behaviors that need to be addressed will not be addressed. As I point these things out, please understand that this is no way condones ANY act of domestic violence. It is all wrong. But abuse of any kind from anybody, both male and female, is also wrong. And the public needs to stop acting as if it is only women who suffer this type of abuse because research would show that is not the case. The public perception is slanted towards believing domestic violence is solely a female victim epidemic. The truth is that it affects both genders significantly. Check out my recent post entitled THE OTHER SIDE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

It is very sad that Smith has to constantly explain and even apologize for his words when there was nothing wrong with what he said. Perhaps in the context of the Ray Rice story it was not the wisest move but he was not and is not condoning domestic violence. What he was pointing out is that there is a cause and effect. A person who constantly yells at and beats on their spouse may one day be on the receiving end of such abuse from the very person who was once the victim. It doesn't make it right and I don't believe it to be right, but it is likely to happen. Let's consider that.

There are plenty of times I disagree with Smith on his perspectives. He is very outspoken and strong about his opinions. But the criticism that has been sent his way has been, in my opinion, unfair. At the end of the day, he believes just like I believe, domestic violence is WRONG!

Just my two cents,

LandoRigs

Laughing Out Loud #1

With all of the heavy topics I've been posting on lately, I've decided to include a weekly video that will just allow everybody to ease up a bit, have a few laughs and put a smile on our faces. This week's video is from "Dude Perfect" on YouTube and is just good clean comedy about fun stereotypes in pickup basketball. Especially if you're a sports guy, you'll get it. Enjoy and have a fabulous weekend!

Stay cool,

LandoRigs

The Other Side of Domestic Violence

So the latest controversy coming out of the NFL is that Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice has been suspended for two games as a result of a domestic violence incident that took place months ago where a camera caught him punching his then fiancee in an elevator and then another camera caught him dragging the same woman by the hair as they got off the elevator. It has raised the ire of many as they feel that the NFL isn't sending a strong enough message against domestic violence behavior of its players. On this note, I wholeheartedly agree.

But each and every time I seem to hear about domestic violence, what bugs me is that I typically hear of a one-sided, one gender focused cause that negates what is happening with the other side and gender. The Obama Administration came out with a public service announcement a couple of years ago that spoke against violence against women and included professional male athletes.

 

While taking up a cause for violence against women is a great endeavor, the fact of the matter is that male victims have been far too overlooked in this regard. If you consider the statistics, you would actually find a very comparable amount of men suffer domestic violence at the hands of women to the women who suffer domestic violence at the hands of men. I won't post the stats here as a Google search of "domestic violence against men" would yield more than enough results to show that many men also are victims as well. 

My question is why leave the men out when so many are going through this? Is it because it is more acceptable in our society for women to be both emotionally and physically abusive to men and supposedly, men are just supposed to take it? A very chilling segment done by ABC News years ago shows that this ideal may play a part in the way some people think about domestic abuse.

So what is the solution to this? Domestic violence shouldn't be acceptable towards any gender. We should have enough respect for each other that we don't have to resort to such abuse. As a rule for humanity, no person, whether male or female, should ever have to endure the horror of domestic violence. And we need to stop talking about it as if it only affects women when the truth is very different.

Another perspective that doesn't get much play is that sometimes domestic violence can be in response to abuse. For instance, a man could be committing domestic violence against the same woman who repeatedly committed violence against him. Or vice versa. In no way is domestic violence in response to domestic violence excusable but I do believe some consideration needs to be given in these situations. For some men and women who constantly throw abuse towards their partner, they may well be on the receiving end of abuse themselves. I don't condone any of it, but it is simply more of a cause and effect. More should be encouraged in the area of people respecting others in general, and perhaps, some of these ugly situations can be avoided. For example, if a woman is always verbally and physically abuse to her husband and one day the husband decides to physically abuse her, she is not innocent. Indeed it isn't right that she was physically abused by her husband but we also must recognize the abuse from her end as well. There can't be a double standard in this, otherwise we are encouraging abusive people to continue to be abusive to the ruin of themselves and their victims.

Domestic violence against men is nothing to laugh at. There are true gentlemen out there that don't want to respond with violence towards their wives or girlfriends and feel stuck. These men need more understanding and encouragement rather than belittlement and mockery. Abuse doesn't make anyone feel good, regardless of your gender. We should be more compassionate regarding this painful reality for many people.

So the next time that you hear of a domestic violence situation and automatically assume it is just women who go through it, think again. It is a human problem.

We'll do this again,

LandoRigs

Questioning is a Good Thing

I can remember when I went to school and it seemed like asking questions was something that was encouraged and embraced. As I got older and worked in the field of journalism, I encountered the opposite on numerous occasions where it seemed like asking questions was met with resistance and annoyance. I found the contrasts in my life to be interesting.

One thing that has served me well in my life is to ask questions about the various things that I see, hear and experience. I believe that it is good to do this. For example, very early in my Christian walk, I accepted a lot of what was told to me about my faith from preachers and my parents. But there came a time in my life where instead of walking by blind faith, I had to put everything I had been taught to the test and see if it was really true. When I did, I found that many of the things that I had been taught were not even true. If I had never questioned what I believe, I would have never reached the conclusions that I did. My faith is as strong as it is because of the questions that I have asked along the way.

Don't ever accept something just because somebody tells you it is true and it sounds convincing. Always search things out for yourself to see if it indeed is true. It is a dangerous thing for a person to simply believe "2+2=4" only because they heard somebody else say it or they read it in a book. Because that person bases his or her knowledge on merely what he has heard or read, if another person comes up with a "2+2=5" argument that sounds more convincing, then suddenly the new argument becomes the truth. But if a person were to believe "2+2=4" because he has actually worked out the problem and reached the answer, it is going to be next to impossible for another argument to convince that person otherwise.

In our society where there is so much information overload, we have to be careful what we believe and what we don't. The mainstream media is constantly pushing ideas and concepts to its consumers in order to influence the public. It knows that not many people are going to research the truth on their own but will simply take their word for it. Our worldviews and perspectives are very much shaped and influenced by what the mainstream media projects out there. I have found the less of it I consume, the better I feel mentally and the more I can really look at the world more objectively. And when I do happen to consume it, I question every bit of it.

Sometimes, questions are not welcome and are even met with backlash. From my perspective, though there are questions that can be inappropriate, there are those who don't want to be questioned on anything at all. Why? Is there something that they're trying to hide or cover up? Is there truth that they don't want others to discover? Anytime somebody questions the Holocaust, why is there such a backlash? As a Christian, people can question Jesus all day long and choose to reject him but they won't see a backlash from me as a result. It is choice that everybody has the right to make. But if somebody questions the Holocaust, they automatically get an "anti-semitic" label affixed to them. Why?

The Holocaust is just one example. There are many other examples we can read throughout history through today of people who question receiving a strong backlash. Once again, why? Is it because the more people question, the more they would see the real truth? I remember when I questioned a pastor at a church I formerly attended about unbiblical behaviors and practices that were taking place and I was told by the pastor I had to right to question him. People who follow others who can not be questioned put themselves in a dangerous of not being able to make those persons accountable. Many church-goers unfortunately do this today.

I am of the notion that something that is right and true can withstand questions and doubts. And if a person is solid in what they believe, it doesn't matter whether people disagree with them or not. This is the way I feel about my faith and I do not feel threatened by those who do not share my faith.

Just some of my thoughts on a Friday. Don't be quick to accept anything. Do your due diligence and search things out for yourself to see whether they be true or not. You may be surprised by what you find.

Sunny in California,

LandoRigs

You Have to Believe

While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?” Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”
-Mark 5:35-36 (NIV)

In the Christian faith, believing is the key to so much. We are asked by God to believe in Him, to believe in His Son Jesus, to believe that His way is what is right for our lives, to believe that we need His reconciliation, to believe that we have the power to overcome our sins, to believe that God will work out all things, etc. Much of what the Christian faith is about is based on belief and unless we have belief, we will never understand it, comprehend it or benefit from it. It is impossible to follow God and not believe in Him.

Belief leads to action. If we truly believe God's way is best, we won't go our own way. If we truly believe that God loves us, then we won't live our lives as if He doesn't. If we believe that what God says is sin is indeed sin, then we won't be attributing things to God that are sinful. If we believe that Jesus is truly the only way to God, then we won't be welcoming other ways that the rest of the world are using to try and reach God. I can continue on but a solid belief is what leads to action representing that belief. A Christian who fully believes in and trusts in God will reflect that in his or her life. And if it isn't reflected, then we have to go back to the drawing board and check and see where our belief status lies in regards to Him.

I see the idea of belief in our everyday lives. Think about people who believe in themselves to accomplish tasks versus others who are trying to accomplish the same tasks but have no belief. What you will see is that the person who has the belief will more likely be more successful in accomplishing the tasks. Meanwhile, the person with no belief is already defeated from the very beginning and not only won't be successful in accomplishing the tasks, they may have trouble even getting started. We can see with our own eyes that there is a difference in the world between those who have belief versus those who don't.

Whether you are a Christian or not, belief plays a very important role in the life of every human being. When you believe in something, you are more likely to give your all, continue to push even in the face of failure, hope against all hope and will not stop until you accomplish what you've set out to do. Your life will reflect that belief. When you don't believe in something, your enthusiasm about it is lacking or completely missing, you are more than likely not going to see it through and are more likely to give up the moment things get tough.

When we look at people who are successful in a worldly sense, whether for better or for worse, do you notice that all of them have a strong belief in themselves and what they do? Many times we get stuck looking at all of the breaks and perks these people have gotten along the way, which do make a difference, but the fact of the matter is without the individual belief and drive associated with that belief, none of these people's efforts would amount to anything. This is a truth in the Christian faith and just is a truth in the way life works.

So are there things that you want to accomplish and things that you really have your heart set on but you don't even begin the journey because you're afraid of failing or coming up short? Or maybe you've started the journey but you stopped because the difficulties along the way discouraged you? Stop and ask yourself where your belief is. What is stopping you from believing? Many times, it is fear that prevents you from having the belief you need to reach your goals. Belief and fear can not work together. One will always win out over the other.

Don't be afraid, just believe.

-Jesus

Jesus is telling his audience here to overcome their fear with belief. Being that we are human beings, we are naturally going to feel fear at times in our lives. The question is whether we allow ourselves to be overcome by fear or do we turn the tables on our fear and replace it with belief. As in most things, the choice is ours.

Just maybe, turning that fear into belief may turn everything around in your life. Are you willing to take the leap of faith?

Always believing,

LandoRigs

Start Your Life Afresh

If you live long enough in life, you've have definitely known what it feels like to have regrets. You know what it is like to have done somebody wrong, make mistakes and just blow it big time. We have all been there and some of us may be there today.

The good news about it all is that no matter what we have done, we can still turn things around and start fresh and new. If we are willing to change, willing to recognize how bad we've messed up and then be willing to do something about it, we can give our lives a new start. Former alcoholics have done it when they decided to put the bottle away for the last time and be sober. Former drug addicts have done it when they decided that their last hit was really their last hit. While we may not be able to avoid the consequences of our actions, what we can do is change our lives now for the better. This is something that any of us can do.

My life today is different than the life that I used to live. For example, I used to cuss and did so freely. But one day, I decided to change that and dedicated my life to having pure speech. Many people who cuss make excuses that it is just the way that they are, which is true in a sense, but if those people were to put as strong an effort into changing the way they speak as they do defending it, they would find that they can take those four letter words out of their vocabulary for good. It is possible, but the question is are we willing to do what it takes to get there?

Some of you who are reading this have been defined too long by your past and it is time for you to stop living up to the past and create a new life for yourself now. Sometimes you feel that because of the things that you did in the past that you don't deserve to try and be anything different. And when people constantly bring up your past to you, it discourages you and makes you wonder why even try to continue on a better path when people are still condemning you for things you've already stopped doing. It's hard and that's part of the consequences of bad choices we make in life. But what needs to matter in your life is not what others think of you, it's what you know you're doing is right and better. Encourage yourself knowing that you are a better person than you once were regardless of what others say or think.

I, I am he
who blots out your transgressions for my own sake,
and I will not remember your sins.

-Isaiah 43:25 (ESV)

An aspect of the gospel of Jesus Christ is based on the fact that we have messed up mightily towards God but through Jesus, we are offered the opportunity to start again with a clean slate (the forgiveness of sins). Even God is one who isn't trying the hold the past over people's heads. The whole idea of repentance is that if we are willing to change our ways for the better, God is willing to let all the things in the past go and even forget them. And not only that, He will also give us the ability to live that better life and to not become entangled in the past life again. Yes, a new life is something that even God would want for us.

I want you to encourage you today that if you are tormented by your past, whether it be poor decisions that you have made and/or horrific things that you've had to go through, you have the opportunity to change all of that. It isn't going to be easy but the effort you put into turning your life around will yield a great reward. I once met a woman who was part of a Mormon fundamentalist sect where she was one of several wives and suffered terrible abuse. Today, she speaks out against the sect and does not allow the past to define who she desires to be today. Her name is Carolyn Jessop and you can do a Google search and find out more about her story.

Keep your head up and know that if you're living for the better, you are on the right track. Live and know who you are today. Yesterday has past, what you are today is what matters.

Till next time,

LandoRigs

When is the Last Time You've Laughed?

I absolutely love to laugh. In fact, I just happen to naturally laugh multiple times on a daily basis. Anybody who knows me knows that I am very silly and I enjoy that part of being me. One of the reasons I believe I can smile every day is because of the fact that I laugh a lot. I've come across people in my life that seem so intense and so serious and I wonder how can they really be happy being that way. Their faces are so stoic and they don't find anything to be funny. In my opinion, they need to laugh more.

If you have found yourself being way too serious lately, it is time for you to laugh. One of my favorite memories was when my childhood friend was coming out of the hospital after getting surgery for a hernia he had. I drove him back home and spent the day with him just so he would have some company as he recovered. The poor guy didn't have his urinating function for a while and even though I knew he was in great discomfort, we found a way to giggle about it. Later that day, we went to see Rush Hour 2 at the local movie theatre. I felt so bad for my friend because he wanted to burst out laughing so much but he couldn't and that made the overall experience hilarious. We still laugh about that to this day.

Because we've known each other so long, he also knows the time when we were both in elementary school and my mom used to send me breakfast pockets to eat before I went to school. I didn't like them and instead of telling my mom that, I kept a collection of breakfast pockets in my backpack until they started smelling everything up. My mom was getting complaints from school and one day told me to empty out my backpack. When I did, a bunch of molded breakfast pockets were unveiled. When my mom asked me why I did it, I had a stupid look on my face that was probably classic. We still laugh about that too.

Stop taking life so seriously. Not laughing is not a sign of maturity. It is a sign to you need to loosen up and start enjoying life a little more. It is okay to laugh. Doctors will even tell you that you should laugh. If you're not laughing daily, make it your mission to do so. Everybody is going to find different things that are funny for them. Find that out for yourself. Just keep it good-natured.

And now, I leave you with something that has me laughing to tears every time I see it. A much needed JaVale McGee clip to make sure I get my daily dose of laughter in:

Laugh this weekend,

LandoRigs

Rising Above Stereotypes

If you haven't had a chance to read my previous entries entitled TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHOICES and WHY I'VE COME TO DESPISE LABELING, please do as those posts are kind of related to what this post will be about.

According to the dictionary, a stereotype is "a widely held but fixed image or idea of a particular type of person or thing." What this means is that a stereotype about a person entails a view about people or things that many people believe. There are many negative stereotypes that are prevalent within our society that is especially magnified by the mainstream media. According to these stereotypes, a Muslim has a great chance of being a terrorist or linked to one, Black females have attitudes, Asians only care about money, Christians hate homosexuals, etc.

While the negative stereotypes will be there and aren't going anywhere soon, we as individuals do not have to live up to any of them. It is a choice that all of us can make. As a black man, I could have chosen to give in to many of the terrible stereotypes that involve the men of my race. But I refuse to do it. As a result, I do not fit those stereotypes and I can take comfort in the fact that I am not contributing to them. I give a lot of credit to my parents, who also do not fit the negative stereotypes involving black people. But it is a choice that people must make.

The photo that you are viewing to your right is of a young 14-year-old girl by the name of Thessalonika Arzu-Embry. At the age of 14, she is getting ready to graduate from college with a bachelor's degree in psychology with an impressive 3.9 GPA. She has been attending Chicago State University since she was 11 years old! Unbelievable. After graduating, she plans to continue her education. What a breath of fresh air it was coming across her story. You can check out an article for yourself HERE.

This is a black girl who is going against the negative stereotypes of black girls and paving her own way in life. She is not carrying an attitude, not caught up in teenage pregnancy and other wiles that are to the detriment of young black females. Most importantly, she has a relationship with God and I am sure that allows her to have a very strong anchor in her life. Thessalonika is off and running and I couldn't be more proud of what she has accomplished and what she will accomplish. She has overcome the negative stereotypes and is an intelligent, bright young lady. We don't have to give in and live up to the negative stereotypes. We can topple them by being the best that we can be.

Just because men are portrayed as being stupid and irresponsible doesn't mean that all men have to be that way. Just because many popular women of our culture are inappropriate doesn't mean that all women have to be that way. We each have choices to make as individuals in terms of how we want to be and how we want to be portrayed. Choose to portray yourself in a positive way and beat the stereotypes that are designed to wrongly categorize you and predict who you are to be. Don't even give those stereotypes even a bit of luxury of being able to be applied to you.

Rise above negative stereotypes. Don't let them hold you down. Don't let them define you. You are better than that.

Be the best you can be,

LandoRigs

Why I've Come to Despise Labeling

Humanity loves labels. It loves the ability to take the unique personalities of individuals and classify them into simple categories in which a label becomes affixed. We do this in everything. For instance, a Christian, Muslim and Buddhist are categorized as "religious" people when what they represent actually goes beyond religion. On sports teams, we have "elite players" and "role players" to continually differentiate between those who grab the attention and those who don't. In some ways, it is helpful to have labels. But in others, it becomes very harmful and even dangerous when considering a person's worldview.

How many people think that most Muslims are aggressive terrorists? How many people think that all Black women have attitudes? How many people think that Black men are not responsible? How many people think that Asians only care about money? How many people think that all "conservatives" are Christian and that all "liberals" lack morality? How many people think that husbands are more likely to be abusive than wives? These things have to do with the stereotypes and labels that are constantly portrayed in our society and many people accept it hook, line and sinker. I used to buy into many of these labels myself until as I got older and the more people I met, I realized that each individual is unique and different--meaning that not everybody is meant to fit into simple, compact categories. And honestly, I have to admit, that when I see certain traits, I have to actually catch myself so that I don't go into labeling mode.

Lately, there has been a very divisive issue going on in America. Children, who are crossing the border from other countries, are being transported to multiple destinations throughout the United States. For some, to embrace the children rather than send them away is what is best. For others, the considerations that come with such an influx of persons outside of the country lead the conclusion that the children should be deported. It's a hot issue and I understand both sides of this. But is the greater public willing to show the same understanding?

I can't tell you how many times I've heard and read people calling those who are protesting what is happening at the border "racists." Indeed, I have seen examples of racist behavior from some of the protesters, but not everyone who disagrees with what is happening is a racist. And the people who have compassion for the children are not blind to the ramifications of having an addition to the country. What I have noticed is that once people develop labels for others and put them to use, it allows them to disregard their cause altogether so that we can never truly gain understanding about why the other side feels the way it does. It happens a lot nowadays and I have seen it from the Trayvon Martin case, the Donald Serling controversy, same-sex marriage, and in my opinion, even the Holocaust. And once you've been labeled, if you don't get with the program, then people don't want to listen to what you have to say, even if there is validity in what you are saying. I don't agree with this and we miss out on the "why" in a lot of things because of it.

One of the biggest things I despise about labeling is that idea that we can know who a person is and fully judge the intentions of that person's heart based on the label. This is wrong. Think of two robbers. One robs because he is trying to put food on the table for his wife and children. The other robs because taking away from people gives him some sort of twisted pleasure. While they both commit the same crime, these are two different people doing it. They wouldn't fit under one label. I understand that we have to make choices based off of people's actions but to try and claim we totally know a person is arrogant. And this is coming from somebody who has been that arrogant person myself. So I know.

We can change this though. What it would take is a deliberate effort to make sure that we judge each person as an individual. We don't assume and jump to conclusions about others based on stereotypes and labels. We make our judgments based on what we directly experience from the person's character and behavior. This doesn't mean that we don't use wisdom either. What it does mean is that we give people a fair shake and try to understand where they're coming from even if it is something that we can never agree with. I think we can do much better in that regard.

Still growing,

LandoRigs

Trusting in God

I can remember being in church services when I was a young kid and when I saw people who seemed like they were so close to God, I wondered how they did that. How does a person get so close to God that he or she can trust and depend on Him as if He is the only one worth trusting? I didn't understand it but I knew that when I was younger, I eventually wanted to get to a point where I was such a person.

There used to be a time when I couldn't really identify with the stories of Abraham, Moses, David, Elijah and the many others in the bible who came to a place when they had to totally depend on God. It was more of a "hey, that's nice" sort of thing but I remember thinking that God just must have done more extraordinary things during the Old Testament times and I should just be happy with the invitation I received to God from Jesus death and resurrection. But sometimes, as I have found out, God only needs to open our eyes to what is really going on for us to see that He's at work all along.

In 2 Kings 6, the king of Aram was at war with Israel. His forces surrounded the city of Dothan, where Elisha the prophet was staying. Check out how a man's eyes were opened by God to see the true circumstances that were going on when he saw the city surrounded by Aram's forces:

When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city. And the servant said, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?” He said, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Then Elisha prayed and said, “O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.” So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 

- 2 Kings 6:15-17 (ESV)

God had to open the eyes of the servant so that he saw that he had no reason to fear because the Lord had supplied them with a defense that Aram's forces would not even come close to matching. It's an amazing story in the bible of how sometimes we just need God to open our eyes so that we can see things differently and truly have confidence in the Lord.

When I was diagnosed with End Stage Renal Failure in March 2012, it turned my world upside down. I was in a place where I had no choice but to depend on God. But that decision was not a hard one because years ago, He opened my eyes and all the times that I thought that my circumstances were mere good fortune, He proved to me that it was Him that made it so. This revelation blew me away and left me almost speechless. It was like having your life laid out in front of you and realizing how much different things would have been if only a minute detail were changed. He not only was there with my in my toughest hour, He had always been there. 

The last two years have been a interesting ride to say the least but God's hand has been with me every step of the way. First, when I went to the hospital in the middle of the night due to an agonizing headache, I was told that had I not showed up at that time, I (at the age of 32 then) was in danger of having a stroke at any time. My blood pressure reading was over 200 and my vision had started becoming distorted in the weeks leading up to that hospital visit. Even with my health going downhill in that last month leading up to my diagnosis, I kept charging forward until my body literally couldn't take anymore. The interesting thing is that my diagnosis was of such that I had a rare condition (IGA nephropathy - body attacking kidney) where I was in trouble regardless and my stress simply brought it on quicker.

That night changed my life for the better. What? How in the world could having a kidney disease be part of a better life? Especially when unless I get a kidney transplant or by a miraculous recovery, my very life is at hand? Because God from the very beginning allowed me to see how awesome He's been and is. I almost had a stroke, which means that I was very close to death. I am alive today and still have my faculties about me. If I had my condition 100 years ago, I would have been in big trouble but being born when I was, there was enough knowledge to where I am be on dialysis and still have a strong quality of life. Back in December 2011, I remember praying to God to help me with my stress and to put my in a place where I could rest and spend more time with my family. That is exactly what I have now with a life that is significantly less stressful, I get lots of rest and I spend a lot of time with my family. In July 2012, I made the bold move to not return to work and I haven't worked a day since March 2012. My wife quit her job a month earlier and is now on a career path she desires rather than one she has had to do to make money. And God has provided all along the way.

It's not that it has been easy. What my wife and I have gone through these past two years would break many marriages apart. But because my wife and I are committed to our love and to our union, those challenges only made us stronger. Because we are pretty private people, most people don't know half of what we've gotten through together. But by God's grace we have remained loyal, faithful and in love with one another no matter the circumstances. I thank God for my wife like crazy because I wouldn't be where I am today without her. She has been an amazing gift in my life and is the most amazing person I know. 

That kid who wanted to know what it was like to be close to God is the 35-year-old who is. My happiness and peace comes directly from Him and I trust Him. He has never let me down. I share this today because you may be going through a tough time right now. The circumstances in your life may be overwhelming. But I can testify that God is greater than our problems. I pray that He may open your eyes as well.

Thankful to be alive,

LandoRigs

The Age Old Way To Win People Over

I do my best to live by Jesus' words in the verses above. And it is something I take very seriously as a parent, knowing how I treat my child will make a difference on how she perceives and regards me. While as a parent, I am in a position of authority, it in no way permits me to abuse such authority. The same should be true in employer-employee relationships, teacher-student relationships, police-citizen relationships, etc.

Today, I came across an article from CNN.com in which a water company is looking to institute a bathroom break limit to its employees as a way of increasing production. From the company's standpoint, the employees have been taking advantage of current bathroom break policy. From the worker's view, the company is harassing them in an unnecessary way. As a person who takes a particular interest in how workers are treated in the workplace, the story caught my interest.

What continues to boggle my mind is that in this day and age, many employers still do not do right by their employees. It's as if they forget that the people who come to work for them everyday are actually human and not mere robots. Being that workers are human, they are worthy of dignity and respect. But so many workers do not receive this from their employers. To me, it would actually be more financially and publicly beneficial for companies to run themselves in fairness and good will. Too many of them don't.

I can list 10 things right now off the top of my head that would improve the work experience for most Americans and would increase production on the job and render happier workers if these things were actually followed:

1. Pay workers a more deserving salary.
2. If workload is increased, increase salary.
3. Encourage workers with positive reinforcement rather than negative.
4. Realize that workers have a life outside of the company and be sensitive to that.
5. Give workers longer lunch breaks and more breaks throughout the day to keep them sharp.
6. Give workers more of an incentive to do their best with bonuses and promotions for hard work.
7. Provide proper training for workers so they don't feel lost and frustrated with job assignment.
8. Treat workers with dignity and respect they deserve at all times.
9. Develop a system where input and concerns of workers is actually valued.
10. Do not blame all problems within the company on the workers.

How much happier people would be to go to work, even if it isn't their career of choice, if more of these things were implemented within companies? The key to all relationships is that if we treat others as good as we would treat ourselves, we could build some real solid relationships.

As I write this, I can't help think about people in the past that I've wronged. Most of the people I've wronged I've actually had the chance to apologize to and make amends. But there is this one guy who was a good friend of mine back in the 8th grade when I attended Montebello Intermediate School. Frank was by all accounts a good guy and we shared similar interests in basketball, video games and WWF wrestling. He had a nice mother, friendly sister and a seemingly cool dad, at least in the beginning. I soon came to find out that his dad was an alcoholic. And while he was friendly to me, he was not so friendly to his family, particularly his wife.

One day, my buddy was visiting me and we went swimming. His dad came to pick him up and somehow, my dad and his dad got into an argument. His dad actually called my father the n-word. I was so upset over what had happened and I wrongly took it out on my friend in being mean to him and turning people against him. To this day, I regret what I did to him and that is one of the reasons why I seek to do right by people today. I've never had a chance to apologize to him or make amends for all the hurt that I wrongly caused him. He wasn't the one who said the n-word and even tried to convince me that he didn't feel the way his dad did. But I wouldn't listen and that's one of the hard life lessons that I've had to learn. He was a good friend and I lost him because I treated him poorly.

I guarantee you, the more you treat others with love, kindness and respect, you will find that you receive it in return more often than not. It becomes contagious, but in a good way. It is the age old way of how to win people over and have people who would go out of their way for you in return. If you left an amazing tip for a waiter and then return to be served by that waiter again, see if that waiter doesn't bend over backwards even more to give you an amazing experience. Sometimes, we sit back and wait for others to do for us before we'll do for them. But what is stopping us for doing for them anyway? Can we imagine a world where we had that type of mindset?

This is just something for you to think about in the middle of the week.We would be in a much better world if we treated each other better. Jesus had it right.

Happy trails,

LandoRigs

Take Responsibility for Your Choices

Just last week, I was reading an article on a young black boy who was being tried as an adult and sentenced to 23 years in prison for killing a service dog. It was amazing how many people were stuck on the sentence instead of seeing the the real issue. The boy had been on the wrong side of the law on several occasions and this seemed to be merely the straw that broke the camel's back. The boy was quoted in the article as saying that he wasn't really a violent person and the drugs and alcohol he consumed were the factors in his criminal behavior.

I have an issue with people who make excuses for their behavior instead of owning up to what they do. I've been there before myself and as people, we do this on both a small and large scale. But there is a great danger in putting the blame on others instead of taking responsibility for our choices. There will be times when our circumstances are beyond our control, but more often that not, our choices are what shape our lives. The lack of personal responsibility allows us to make even poorer decisions down the road and leads us to avoiding the real changes that we sometimes need to make in our lives. If we can always explain away everything, then we justify ourselves and when we justify ourselves then we will never see a problem with ourselves. It's a road that tends to lead to lots of heartbreak and suffering that actually could have been prevented. The black boy I mentioned in the first paragraph could have avoided being in a courtroom at all if he made better choices.

To take full responsibility for the wrongs we do takes a significant amount of humility. Pride tends to get in the way of this. I can not tell you how many lives would be different today if more of us would look at ourselves as being possible contributors to our problems rather than the blame always resting with other people. Sure, others can play a significant factor in our situations, but many times we have the ability to make decisions to alter our course for the better. There are devastating consequences when we make poor ones.

Here's the good news about taking responsibility for our actions. We can change. Where we are missing the mark, we can correct it. And as a result, we can become better people. We can never change what we've done in the past but we can pay careful attention to what we do now and in the future. The solution is within our grasp if we are willing to take it. I am convinced after 35 years on this earth that I do not have the power to change people. I can plead with people about the right way to go but if they don't understand it, I'm pleading on deaf ears. Only God can change people and even then, he waits for a person to have a CHANGE of heart (repentance) before He transforms him or her. The key to a better life rests in our hands. It is us that must make the right choices.

Have you ever tried helping somebody who really doesn't want to change? At some time, you will realize that your efforts are getting you nowhere and will find yourself being frustrated. The problem is that the person who needs the help has to actually believe he or she needs the help before anyone can move forward. Otherwise you will keep coming to the same frustrating place with that person, hitting the same wall. If the person doesn't see in themselves the need to change, then they will not change, period. If the person blames all of his or her issues on somebody else or on a set of circumstances, then that person really doesn't take any responsibility as to what happens in his or her life. Therefore, no change and the more you push, the further you push that person away from you.

If there is something that you've been refusing to change, even though you have had multiple people tell you otherwise for your own good, then perhaps it is time to stop fighting it and start changing it. You will be surprised at how your life changes for the better. But remember that it starts with you, nobody else can change for you. If your last marriage failed and you realize there were things you did that contributed to that, change it so that you don't bring it into your next relationship. If you have a tendency to have an attitude and a loud mouth, change that and become a more pleasant person. If you have a tendency to lie and not tell the truth, change that and become a more trustworthy person. If you find yourself constantly pregnant with babies that fathers won't help take care of, stop seeking going out with men that use you for sex and then move on. As Captain Planet used to say, "The power is yours."

Take responsibility for your mistakes and start fresh. Always ask if there are things that you can do better in because that assessment and action taken might bring you to the next level. Don't keep being stuck in the same rut, making the same decisions and getting the same disastrous results when you could be in a better place. When you make mistakes, learn from them so that you don't keep repeating them.

It all starts with you and only you. Keep that in mind and make good choices.

Happy Monday,

LandoRigs

Why the Hate?

 

I don't get it. The more I think about it, the more I just really don't get it. LeBron James returns to Cleveland and all seems right with the sports world. Yet, there are people who still find a reason to criticize and hate on the man.

James has carved a tremendous and impressive legacy during his decade-long tenure in the NBA. MVPs, check. NBA championships, check. Scoring titles, check. One of the best players of all time, check. Perhaps the most impressive part about James is the fact that he has improved pretty much in all facets of the game over the course of his career. Even with all that, he has been a good ambassador for basketball and has stayed out of trouble.

But people want to criticize that he went to Miami to team up with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh to win his championships. Even old-time NBA players voiced their displeasure with James' DECISION back in 2010. But how can Magic Johnson even compare his experience to James when the Lakers had other Hall of Fame players (Kareem, Worthy, Wilkes, McAdoo) on that team with him? Even though Magic had good leadership ability, the fact is that he was surrounded with players who would have been Hall of Fame players regardless of they played with him or not and that actually toned themselves down to fit the Lakers' style of play. What Magic had, James never had in Cleveland. The only Hall of Fame level player he had was Shaq, who as already in the twilight of his career. And can we really compare Mike Brown (who I really like as a coach) to Pat Riley in the coaching department?

Let's go to Larry Bird. His leadership ability is also heralded in basketball lore. Yet he had a coach named KC Jones, who is a Hall of Fame player but truthfully should have also been a Hall of Fame coach. Robert Parish, Kevin McHale and Dennis Johnson all are Hall of Famers. Johnson actually had won a championship before even coming to the Celtics with the Seattle Supersonics in 1979. Once again, James did not have this type of roster support and coaching staff in Cleveland.

Lastly, we'll talk about Michael Jordan. On his championship teams with the Bulls, Jordan played alongside Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen, Hall of Famer Dennis Rodman and tremendous role players such as Horace Grant, B.J. Armstrong, John Paxson and Steve Kerr. Not to mention, that he also had Hall of Fame coach Phil Jackson at the helm for all six of those championships. Once more, not anything near what James had in Cleveland.

Then I find myself reading posts from people on Facebook complaining that James went back to Cleveland because of the letter owner Dan Gilbert wrote when he left. Whether these people realize it or not, what they are saying is that they don't approve of James and Gilbert sitting down like two grown men and burying the hatchet. Isn't that supposed to be a good thing? I just don't get it.

It's late at night and I know I'm sounding preachy in this entry but I'm flabbergasted by this whole thing. I understand why people were upset with James when he left for Miami amidst a media circus frenzy that he embraced and supported. But this was different. The way James handled himself this time showed his maturity and what he has learned over the past few years. But some people were too busy hating in order to see it.

Haters are gonna hate. I still don't get it.

Time to get some sleep,

LandoRigs

Happy for LeBron

LeBron James is a Cleveland Cavalier once again!  Link to ESPN.com article

Well, in case you haven't heard, reports are swirling about that LeBron James is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers. ESPN and other sports networks have been on the story with speculations and predictions ever since the 2014 NBA ended. Now we finally have our answer and I am happy for him.

But as James heads back to Cleveland, I am reminded at how everything broke down in 2010 when he decided to leave the Cavaliers for the Miami Heat. James and the sports media turned his announcement into a circus, Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert wrote a nasty letter about James and the Cleveland fans burned their former hero's jerseys at will. What I hope is that all three sides (James, Gilbert, Cleveland fans) have learned from that experience and are able to see where they all were at fault. I would hate to see a repeat if James' were to go to another team when he becomes a free agent again.

That being said, I am thrilled to see him make a choice that was best for him. He has been one of the hardest working players and has improved over the course of his career. If anyone has earned the right to choose what he wants for his career, James certainly has earned that right. All I ask is that the Cavaliers change their jerseys back to the way they were when James was on the team the first team because those jerseys since have been hideous. :)

Same bat time, same bat blog,

LandoRigs

Let's Watch How We Speak to One Another

Let everything that you do be done in love. 

- 1 Corinthians 16:14 (ESV)

Today's post is going to be one that is geared more to my Christian brothers and sisters but what I am going to propose is something that I feel any person can benefit from. There is a trend among some believers that I believe is very counterproductive and unfruitful. It is the unloving and disrespectful way that believers sometimes speak to one another.

As we continue, I admit that I have been very guilty of the things that I am going to talk about. So my perspective is not coming from a person who doesn't know how easy it is to fall into this dangerous pattern. It is coming from a person who has realized over the course of his life how damaging it has been to others and sought to correct it. My personal experiences are why I have the insight that I do on this topic but at the same time, certainly isn't anything that I am proud of.

Furthermore, I believe passionate dialogue and energetic discussions among Christians is a good thing. There is nothing wrong with them. But what I have seen time and time again, particularly online, is believers cutting down other believers in order to get their point across. This is not loving and no matter how many good points a person has, when a conversation deteriorates to such levels, nobody wins and nobody is the better for it. Yet, shouldn't dialogue between believers be edifying for all parties involved?

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

-1 Corinthians 13:2 (ESV)

If we as believers are entering conversations with other believers in order to simply be correct, flex our theological muscle, boast of our titles and seminary learning, and try to show ourselves to be superior in knowledge of the faith compared to others, then we are being very counterproductive. These are all characteristics wrapped up in pride, something that God detests. Such characteristics lack the one ingredient which would produce a fruitful conversation—LOVE! Let's consider Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 13. It is a chapter focused on the importance of love being our intent in all that we do. In one part, Paul talks about having understanding of all mysteries and knowledge without love amounts to nothing. In another, he reminds us that love does not boast, dishonor, is not proud and is not self seeking.

So when I come across a conversation where people are showing the attributes that are the complete opposite of love, it is a concern. If one of us has a really good point to show another, wouldn't it be better to explain it without having to tear the other person down and elevate ourselves? And what do titles, education level and seminary experience have to do with anything when it comes to who God can use to proclaim His truth? What does age or gender have to do with it? Either something is true or it isn't. Just because a college graduate says “2+2=4” doesn't make it any more true than a person who has never had any education saying “2+2=4.” I believe when we get stuck on credentials that not even Jesus' 12 disciples had, we waste precious opportunities to learn from one another and also create bad blood within the body of Christ.

Another attribute that is missing along with love in some of these conversations is humility. A person who is truly humble will never feel as if he or she knows everything and that an “inferior” person is incapable of showing them truth. Such people don't even put others into categories of "superior" and "inferior." Several years ago, it seemed like God was constantly putting me in encounters with homeless persons on the street. It got to the point that when I was at a gas station, if I saw a homeless person, it was a guarantee I would end up being approached by the guy. My conversations with these gentlemen would blow my mind because the advice and encouragement that they gave me was more in tune with God's truth than anybody I had ever spoken with in a suit. Had I been stuck in the notion that because the guy is homeless, smells funny, has worn clothes and is missing some teeththat I could never learn anything from him, I would have missed out on those nuggets of advice I can still remember to this day. Those were amazing moments.

Humble people do not look at “superior vs inferior” in relation to others. They view themselves on the same plane as others. Instead of talking at and down to people, they talk WITH people. There's a big difference there. It's like the difference between the way a boss speaks to an employee that can leave the employee feeling encouraged or feeling belittled. Think about how much better we'd communicate in our marriages, with our children, among our friends and with our employees if we took more of the approach of talking WITH people. It would create a world of difference and believe me, I saw it firsthand in my life.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 

- James 1:19 (ESV)

One of the keys to fruitful communication is having a greater ability to listen than to speak. It is so easy to want to speak, to be heard and to want to get our point across. Some of us may even believe that dominating a conversation is the most effective way to go. But it isn't. Believe me, investing your time and effort to be a much better listener than speaker will go a long way. If another person says something you don't understand or comprehend, ask that person for clarification rather than accuse and attack. Rather than dismiss your brother or sister as being a non-Christian or another hurtful label, try to spend more time understanding his or her perspective, even if in the end you don't agree with it. And it is okay to leave the conversation with separate viewpoints yet still be able to love one another. Don't make the conversation about having to prove the other person wrong or winning. Simply love and share what God leads you to share. God will do the rest.

Lastly, remember we as Christians are all still on the journey and last I've checked, we've all got a ways to go.

Enjoy your weekend,

LandoRigs

The Importance of Gratitude

I can honestly admit that when I was younger, I took so many things for granted. I never really took notice of the big picture and how so many things are interconnected. That has changed as I have gotten older and the funny thing is that I know that the more appreciative I've become, the happier in life I've been.

We can come up with a list of all sorts of things that we don't have and that we want to have. But do we really take the time to be thankful for what we have right now? I think if we did this a little more, we would see that in most cases we certainly have a lot to be thankful for. It might take a change of mind in order to begin to appreciate what are considered to be the "simple" things of life. But I can tell you from personal experience, the more gratitude you have in your heart, the happier you will be. To not appreciate those good things that we have right in front of our faces will make us bitter people.
 

Not only is it important for us to be appreciative but it is also good for our health to have others appreciate us. When is the last time someone said “Thank you” to you or other compliments such as “good job” and “we appreciate you”? Doesn't it feel good to be appreciated? I'm sure others feel the same way when we appreciate them. How much better our society would be if it were one of true appreciation of one another. 

There are some of us who do a wonderful job at being gracious for the things that others do for us and there are others of us that could use some work in that department. It's okay if you need work because I've been there too. The cool thing about knowing you need to work at something is that you can get better at it and improve in it. Sometimes it is very easy to take people for granted and to live by the mantra that the good things that people do are simply what they are SUPPOSED to do. There is a danger in living by this ideology in that it creates a very unappreciative expectation in others and such persons can end up living out a very sour existence. Think about how a mother or father who has been a fabulous parent to their children only to have their children tell them that they didn't feel they had to thank them because parenting them was what they were supposed to do. Wouldn't that be terrible if you were that parent who poured into your childrens' lives and yet they could never tell you even a simple "thank you?"

I present another example that most of us would be familiar with--the restaurant experience. As a customer, when we go into the restaurant, we have a greeter who welcomes us to the establishment and leads us to our respective seats. Within minutes, a waiter or waitress that we become familiar with throughout the remainder of our dining experience comes to ask if we would like anything to drink. We give him or her the order and within minutes, we have that delivered directly to our table. Next, we may order appetizers or get right into the main course. Just like the drinks, we will soon have our order of food delivered directly to our table. Anything we order, it is delivered to us. The only time we would have to get up would be to go to the restroom, deal with an emergency or to leave the restaurant after we've finished our meals. What we are receiving is service and hospitality.

The real test of gratitude arrives when the bill does. How many waiters and waitresses do a phenomenal job, along with the other members of their team in the restaurant, only to get stiffed in their tips when the proper time comes for their reward? Most of them go out of their way to provide outstanding service, only to receive a measly three-percent tip. It's terrible but also very indicative of how we can consume the efforts of others in our society without an ounce of appreciation. What is happening in the restaurants also happens to parents and children in the home, husbands and wives in marriage, workers in the workplace, teachers in the classroom and I could give so many other examples. I can not even begin to tell you how many people I know who go to work for a company every day and feel as if their time and efforts are not appreciated at all. This shouldn't be.

Maybe one of the reasons why we deal with so much depression in this country is because we don't have a heart of gratitude as a whole. Even though the conveniences and luxuries we enjoy many times come from the work of the impoverished and those with significantly lesser income, we still find reasons to complain about how we don't have enough. Instead of being content, there is always the desire for more. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting better and wanting to do better, but when we come to a place when we can't even appreciate what we have, that's a problem. Of course, our mainstream media and entertainment play a huge role in this as well because you're always being treated to a barrage of in-your-face and subliminal advertisements that help to create that craving of never being satisfied.

For me, my relationship with Jesus Christ has given me a heart of gratitude and allowed me to see just how I lacked that before I followed him. From there, I appreciate everything in my life even down to the fact that I am still breathing when I wake up in the morning. Gratitude has also played a significant part as to why I can still be the happiest I've ever been even though my life was turned upside down two years ago when I was diagnosed with End Stage Renal (Kidney) Failure. It has served me well and that is why I want to share this with you today.

So if you're having trouble being happy, it won't hurt to be a bit more thankful.

Until next time,

LandoRigs