Let everything that you do be done in love.
- 1 Corinthians 16:14
(ESV)
Today's post is going to be one that is geared more to my Christian
brothers and sisters but what I am going to propose is something
that I feel any person can benefit from. There is a trend among some believers that I believe is very counterproductive and unfruitful. It is the unloving and disrespectful
way that believers sometimes speak to one another.
As we continue, I admit that I have been very guilty of the things that I am going to
talk about. So my perspective is not coming from a person who
doesn't know how easy it is to fall into this dangerous pattern. It
is coming from a person who has realized over the course of his life
how damaging it has been to others and sought to correct it. My
personal experiences are why I have the insight that I do on this
topic but at the same time, certainly isn't anything that I am proud of.
Furthermore, I
believe passionate dialogue and energetic discussions among Christians is a
good thing. There is nothing wrong with them. But what I have seen
time and time again, particularly online, is believers cutting down
other believers in order to get their point across. This is not
loving and no matter how many good points a person has, when a
conversation deteriorates to such levels, nobody wins and nobody is
the better for it. Yet, shouldn't dialogue between believers be
edifying for all parties involved?
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
-1 Corinthians 13:2 (ESV)
If we as believers are entering conversations with other believers in
order to simply be correct, flex our theological muscle, boast of our
titles and seminary learning, and try to show ourselves to be
superior in knowledge of the faith compared to others, then we are
being very counterproductive. These are all characteristics wrapped up in pride, something that God detests. Such characteristics lack the one ingredient which would produce a fruitful conversation—LOVE!
Let's consider Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 13. It is a chapter
focused on the importance of love being our intent in all that we do.
In one part, Paul talks about having understanding of all mysteries
and knowledge without love amounts to nothing. In another, he reminds
us that love does not boast, dishonor, is not proud and is not self
seeking.
So when I come across a conversation where people are showing the
attributes that are the complete opposite of love, it is a concern.
If one of us has a really good point to show another, wouldn't it be
better to explain it without having to tear the other person down and
elevate ourselves? And what do titles, education level and seminary
experience have to do with anything when it comes to who God can use
to proclaim His truth? What does age or gender have to do with it?
Either something is true or it isn't. Just because a college graduate
says “2+2=4” doesn't make it any more true than a person who has
never had any education saying “2+2=4.” I believe when we get
stuck on credentials that not even Jesus' 12 disciples had, we waste
precious opportunities to learn from one another and also create bad
blood within the body of Christ.
Another attribute that is missing along with love in some of these
conversations is humility. A person who is truly humble will never
feel as if he or she knows everything and that an “inferior”
person is incapable of showing them truth. Such people don't even put others into categories of "superior" and "inferior." Several years ago, it
seemed like God was constantly putting me in encounters with homeless
persons on the street. It got to the point that when I was at a gas
station, if I saw a homeless person, it was a guarantee I would end
up being approached by the guy. My conversations with these gentlemen
would blow my mind because the advice and encouragement that they
gave me was more in tune with God's truth than anybody I had ever
spoken with in a suit. Had I been stuck in the notion that because the guy is
homeless, smells funny, has worn clothes and is missing some teeththat I could never learn anything from him, I would have missed out
on those nuggets of advice I can still remember to this day. Those were amazing
moments.
Humble people do not look at “superior vs inferior” in relation
to others. They view themselves on the same plane as others. Instead
of talking at and down to people, they talk WITH people. There's a
big difference there. It's like the difference between the way a boss
speaks to an employee that can leave the employee feeling encouraged
or feeling belittled. Think about how much better we'd communicate in
our marriages, with our children, among our friends and with our
employees if we took more of the approach of talking WITH people. It
would create a world of difference and believe me, I saw it firsthand in my life.
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear,
slow to speak, slow to anger;
- James 1:19 (ESV)
One of the keys to fruitful communication is having a greater ability
to listen than to speak. It is so easy to want to speak, to be heard
and to want to get our point across. Some of us may even believe that dominating a conversation is the most effective way to go. But it isn't. Believe me, investing your time and
effort to be a much better listener than speaker will go a long way. If another person
says something you don't understand or comprehend, ask that person
for clarification rather than accuse and attack. Rather than dismiss your brother or sister as being a non-Christian or another hurtful label, try to spend more time understanding his or her perspective, even if in the end you don't agree with it. And it is okay to
leave the conversation with separate viewpoints yet still be able to love one another. Don't make the
conversation about having to prove the other person wrong or winning.
Simply love and share what God leads you to share. God will do the
rest.
Lastly, remember we as Christians are all still on the journey and last I've checked, we've all got a ways to go.
Enjoy your weekend,
LandoRigs
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